Thoughts on 2010 and Wishes for 2011

Sitting here on New Year's Eve I think about 2010 and what 2011 has in store. The highlight of the year for me came on Sunday, August 15, 2010 when LA and I met Nastya for the first time. I will remember the day for the rest of my life... It was about 100 bagillion degrees outside. LA took me kicking and screaming to a park in Cary for an event that "some friend of hers" was organizing for some orphans. What little did I know when we pulled out of the driveway that day was that day would change my life. We informally met Nastya as she played hide and seek around me, as LA and I tried to get some information from Amanda about the whole international adoption process. We were introducted to Dimitry, Nastya's host family Dad. In the matter of an hour, we made arrangements to spend some time with Nastya at Dimitry and Holly's home on Monday. And the rest is history... That "some friend of hers" is now part of the most special people in our lives. Bryan invited LA to the event that would change LA, mine, and Nastya's lives forever. Bryan's then girlfriend and now fiancee Amanda has become an intricate part of our lives as well. And Eleni, the saint that organized the entire summer camp experience for the kids. 3 miracle workers that day that changed our lives forever. How can you say thank you for something like that? That same week, I experienced one of the saddest moments I have ever felt as an adult. On Thursday, August 19, we met all the kids at the airport and had to put Nastya on a plane and send her back to her orphanage in Ukraine. I was in tears. Nastya was in tears. LA was in tears. Holly and Dimitry were in tears. There wasn't a dry eye in the bunch. My biggest fear that day was whether I would ever see her again and that she knew how much I loved her. My second biggest fear was what she was going back to. I left the airport that day with a sad heart and a new mission in life. To Bring Nastya Home to us forever! I went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in those 5 days. But I soon found out how much love is out there in the world. LA started a journey that August 19, 2010 to Bring Nastya Home. With much support of family, friends, and complete strangers, in Spring 2011, we are hoping to have Nastya with us as part of our forever family. 2010 was a sad year on the family front. My Mom had major back surgery in early 2010. Then my Dad fell ill shortly thereafter. Dad is fighting an uphill battle every day. Mom is there with him as his rock every minute of every day. But hopefully with prayer, love, medicine, and all the support, both Mom and Dad will have a better 2011 than a 2010. We end 2010 on 2 other sad notes. Yesterday, we lost Fred, a long time and dear family friend. He has been called to heaven way to early. I can only hope that he has some fishing poles up there with him and all the lures he could ever dream of. We also said a temporary goodbye to our best friends in the whole wide world today. Angie, Jim, Lil E and Lil A are moving today. It is a joyous time for them and their family. But it is with sad hearts that we say goodbye. Jim is a great friend. Angie is LA.'s best friend. Lil E and Lil A have been the kids LA and I never had. Jacksonville isn't too far away, but moving away none the less is sad. They will always be part of the Puskar family. So, what does 2011 have in store for me? I have learned over this past year that only one person knows what is in store. God. Sometimes I question why he has to let bad things happen to good people. Sometimes I question why good people have to suffer. But my faith has grown so much in 2010, that I can only pray and hope that God has a good 2011 in store for us. My personal wishes for 2011 are this...and hopefully God will agree... First and foremost, I hope that Dad gets better. He is my best friend. Second, I hope that LA and I are blessed with safe travels to Ukraine this spring to complete the adoption process with Nastya. And pray that the rest of the process will go smoothly for us. I also hope that the other families that are adopting kids through this same process have a smooth and safe journey. Third, I hope that in 2012 there is only about half of me left. As many of you know, I have struggled with my weight since I was a kid. My goal for me this year is to take care of myself and finally beat the battle. As I embark on 2011, I will be most thankful for the blessings of 2010, but look forward to 2011 with an open heart, an open mind, and an open ended story. Let's get Dad better. Let's get Nastya here. And let's make 2011 a year to remember. Be safe as you celebrate the New Year's coming tonight and may 2011 bring you all you deserve.

Pictures Worth More Than 1000 Words

What a great Christmas it was. Our traditional Puskar Christmas Eve. A great seafood dinner prepared by the best Mom in the world. An evening of spending time with the family. 2 magnificent church services; one with family and the other one on my own as a personal time of reflection this holiday season. Christmas morning with LA's homemade pancakes and opening stockings with Tiff and Robert. Then a grand Christmas Day dinner, once again cooked with love by my Mom. And to wake up today with seven inches of snow on the ground and the first White Christmas in Raleigh since 1947. Indeed it was a great weekend. But to make things even better, we received some pictures of Nastya from the Paulson family as they travel in the Ukraine working on their own adoption. Judy sent us pictures of Christmas Eve Day with the kids opening some small gifts we had sent to them via the Paulsons. Then more pictures from Christmas Day of the kids looking at pictures we had emailed them of our holiday traditions. Nastya was smiling from ear to ear and it warmed my heart. I got to Skype with Judy this afternoon as well and was delighted to find out that Nastya is already speaking about Daisy to her friends at the orphanage as "her dog". Stories were shared of how excited she was of seeing pictures I had sent her of her room, our house and the 7" of snow, Daisy, and the Puskar holidays. Whomever said that a picture is worth a thousand words is wrong. Just based upon Nastya's reaction in the photos as she looked at photos that we sent her and the overwhelming joy I felt as I looked at the pictures Judy sent us, I must say a thousand words doesn't cut it. So many thanks to the Paulsons for loving Nastya while they are there and for sharing their moments with us. Truly priceless.

Thoughts on Christmas Eve

As I sit here at my desk on Christmas Eve I can only think of one little girl. Its hard not to be sad but I am trying my hardest. I just keep picturing next year with her beside me and all the presents a little 11 year old girl could ask for. And a hug for her Daddy as well... I was sitting in church tonight at the 7pm service with LA and Allyson and tears came to my eyes during the Praise Team's rendition of O Holy Night. I sat there listening to the trumpet and sax playing a glorious melody with the piano accompanying in the background. It may have taken me 35 years, but for the first time I truly feel in my heart the reason for the season. Not sure why it hit me this year, but have a couple thoughts. This year, LA and I choose to "downgrade" our Christmas spending as we are trying to save to Bring Nastya Home. No malls. No shopping at all. LA and I made some homemade presents for our immediate family and that was it. No hussle and bussle this year. We spent our traditional Christmas Eve with my mom and dad and sister Allyson. Then went to church. Yes, we opened a few gifts from family as we normally do, but no one went overboard. We were able to just concentrate spending the day with family. The most precious and special part of the night was opening a present my Mom and Dad gave LA and I. It was a stocking for Nastya and a book for her about the story of Christmas. Nastya may not be here in person but she is here in spirit. She has a stocking hanging on the mantle. A special gift from her grandparents for when she arrives. We got some pictures from the Paulson's today of Nastya as well. Now that I must get ready to head back to church for the 11pm candlelight service, I can only hope that God fills my heart with his love, and that for each candle lit tonight, Nastya feels the love in her heart from a Dad, Mom, Aunt, Grandma, and Grandpa, and many others on this Christmas Eve and most holy of nights. Good night Nastya, good night. Daddy loves you.

It Hurts My Heart

As I sit here now and think about the holidays coming up, I can only think of the little kids in the orphanages that won't get to experience the joy that Santa brings on Christmas morning. It pains my heart that Nastya won't be able to enjoy the things that every child deserves at this time of year. Going to church on Christmas Eve to hear the story of Jesus' birth. Going home and getting in your pj's. Putting milk and cookies out for Santa and carrots and water out for his reindeer. Stirring at night thinking you hear Santa's sleigh landing on the rooftop. Jumping up and down on Mom and Dad's bed and bounding downstairs to see what Santa brought for you. These are the most special times I can remember about this time of year as a little kid. To know that Nastya won't be able to do that is sad. We are thankful for Natalya at Redline and the Paulson Family for delivering her some little Christmas items from us. Next year, I can promise you that Santa is going to make up for all those Christmas mornings that there was nothing to look forward to. My prayer today is that Nastya knows that LA and I love her. That she stays strong and patient. That she knows that she is the most precious of God's little ones. That she knows she is in my heart every minute of every day. And that she feels the love that so many have with her.

An Early Christmas Present

It is with great excitement that I sit here tonight and update our story. So much has happened in the past couple days. Today was a rather busy day. Took Daisy to get a bath and make sure she was smelling pretty for Santa when he comes next week. Then there were some errands to help Mom and Dad out in preparation for their Christmas Open House today. Had a great time mingling with family friends and the parentals at the open house. Picked Daisy up from her bath. And then went home. As I normally do in my Type A routine, I checked the mail on my way in. An early Christmas gift arrived. We received our 171 today! To the adoptive parental nation out there that has gone through or is going through the same journey we are embarking, you understand the importance of this day. To others, a quick explanation. In basic layman's terms, this form is the US approval for us to adopt Nastya and bring her back to the US. Without this authorization, we could not proceed with the adoption. Basically, our successful adoption comes down to the fact that 3 people/groups/etc need to approve the adoption. First, the US gov't. That is the 171. Second is the SDA, which is the State Dept of Adoption in Ukraine. Third is the judge in a Ukrainian courtroom. Step 1 is now in hand and we can progress to step 2. What a great day! Throughout this process I am constantly amazed at the everyday miracles God is performing in our lives. Today is no different. 5 years ago today, my Grandma passed away. And today we received one of the major pieces of the puzzle in our journey. I can only believe that this is Grandma helping us climb the mountain. As she did along the way while she was here with us, today I believe she helped deliver this most cherished item. Grandma may not be here with us anymore, but you can bet your "babushka" that she is watching over us and Pappap is there telling her how to do it! I sure do miss you Grandma and Pappap. LA and I also received other great news this week. On Thursday, we received an email from David, our adoption coordinator, that we had received our official Dossier submission date. February 23! The Dossier is the collection of all the paperwork that is required to complete the adoption. We have been working for the past 3 months to collect and compile all the required information. Now, we have our date that it will all be presented. This date is one of 3 main dates that we are waiting for. This one starts the official process of adoption in Ukraine. Shortly after submittal, we will receive our second date, which is our SDA appointment and the day we need to be there to start the in country process. That appointment will lead to our court date and finally to the completion of the adoption. 2 of the first of sets of 3 that we have been waiting for. Both in a time span of 48 hours. WOW! Prayers are being answered every day. Miracles are being performed every day. Every day we wake up, we are one day closer to giving Nastya her forever family and making LA and my dreams come true. God is good!

Stuff Your Stockings for Nastya

We are kicking off our month long December fundraiser to help raise the funds necessary to adopt Nastya. Here is all you have to do: 1. Hang an old sock or Christmas stocking in your home. 2. Place your change or donations in the stocking. 3. LA and I will gather all of them at the beginning of the new year. 4. All of the proceeds will go towards our efforts to Bring Nastya Home. I also wanted to bring everyone up to date on our fundraising progress. Since the middle of August when we started this endeavor, with the overwhelming support of our family and friends and some complete strangers, we are now at 76.5% of our goal! We have until the first of February to raise the remaining 23.5%!

Climbing the Mountain

Hello friends. Welcome to the launch of the blog for Bring Nastya Home. I am excited to get this started so I can document and share our journey with you. LA and I committed to this wonderful journey and thankful for the support we have received so far. As our pastor Mike so elequently shared with us...we are embarking on a journey that God has planned for us. We are climbing the mountain and WILL reach the pinnacle. All our climb we may experience diffculties and will have many triumphs. With everyone's support, prayer, guidance, and love we will perservere and have a wonderful daughter to share with the world. Stay tuned for more updates and I will be providing some background info and catch everyone up on our progress and our story. For the first go around I leave you with this thought...How can you make a miracle happen today?