As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. With that said, this is going to be the last post to this blog for a little while. I may re-visit it in a few months, but for the most part, this is it.
I originally created this blog to share our story in our journey to adopt Nastya. It slowly turned into a means to update everyone stateside while we were traveling abroad. Then, it became a method of communicating our new family experiences.
Now, I think it is time to sign off.
I thank each and every one of you for reading and following our journey to Bring Nastya Home. It has been quite a year. One in which we experienced new things and learned what God has planned for my family.
Without a doubt, this entire process would't have been possible without your prayers, love, support, and contributions.
I am the proud Papa of the best 11 year old in the whole wide world. One..five...ten years ago, would I have envisioned this process of starting a family? No way! But it is abundantly clear that God is in control and he works wonders. LA and I are blessed to have Nastya as our daughter. A little over 3 months into our new family life, we are continuing to learn how to be a family. I am learning way more from Nastya that she is from me and I am so proud of her for what she has accomplished.
I leave you with this...
Dream big. It's okay to question why bad things happen to good people. Jump in the deep end. Believe that God is in control. And never ever take anything for granted.
I love you Nastya!
With all my love...your proud Papa...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Full Circle
Just got home from our first family vacation as a family of three. As the old saying goes, I need a vacation from my vacation. Nevertheless, we had a great time and wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole wide world.
I had quite an incredible "Ah Ha" moment this weekend and an epiphany of sorts. Let me explain.
LA and I have also loved the beach or anything that has to do with water or the beach. Over the past 14+ years that we have known each other and the 11+ years of marriage, an overwhelming percentage of our vacations have been at the beach. Probably 90% of them or more have had to do with water, on the water, or at the water.
Our trips haven't been to exotic locales or to any far away places. We honeymooned in San Diego and stayed on Mission Beach and near Coronado Island. We've been to practically every beach destination up and down the east coast from Florida to Rhode Island. Whether just a long weekend or a 10 day journey, we really enjoy the beach.
So, we thought it only fitting to plan our first family vacation with Nastya to the beach. We left Friday after school and just got home a little earlier this evening. It was during this short weekend journey that a portion of my life has come full circle.
Over the years, I cannot count the many days, nights, hours, and minutes that I would sit on the balcony of the resort, condo, or hotel that we were staying and look out into the ocean and just let the waves take away all my stresses. In the early morning, I would get up and grab a cup of coffee and meander out and watch the sunrise. In the afternoon, I can just sit for hours and just relax the day away. In the evening and at night, I sit out and listen to the waves and look up at the stars. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, I absolutely love it.
During these times over the past several years, this has been my "me time". Sometimes I daydream. Sometime I have little chats with myself. Sometimes I make lists and take inventory of who I am or what I want to become or things that I have to do. Sometimes I look at the pretty girls in bikinis walking by. (Just checking to see if you were still paying attention with that one.)
And sometimes, I have talks with God. The last several trips, I recall the conversations being those of wonder and questioning why things were happening the way they were in my life. For as long as I can remember, I always left every "sitting" with the simple prayer..."God, please help LA and I to become a Mommy and a Daddy."
I found myself sitting on the balcony of the 19th floor of our condo Friday night, sitting oceanfront in my oversized and quite comfy armchair. But this time, I didn't have to ask God to help me become a Daddy. Nastya was sitting right there with me.
LA was sitting on the other side of Nastya and we were just sitting there looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves crash on the beach. Nobody was talking. We were winding down for the evening and getting ready to go to bed. I had my hand holding Nastya's right hand and LA was gently playing with Nastya's freshly shampooed hair. As we sat there, I looked up at the stars and said "Thank you God".
My balcony "me times" have come full circle and I am truly blessed to be a proud son, brother, husband, and now a Papa. No more angry words with God from the oceanfront balconies on why bad things happen to good people. But tears of joy, as my heart smiles and Nastya and LA sit right there beside me. I know that all too soon Nastya won't want to spend time sitting on the balcony with her old "black and gray" haired Papa. I can promise you that I am going to enjoy every minute while I can!
I had quite an incredible "Ah Ha" moment this weekend and an epiphany of sorts. Let me explain.
LA and I have also loved the beach or anything that has to do with water or the beach. Over the past 14+ years that we have known each other and the 11+ years of marriage, an overwhelming percentage of our vacations have been at the beach. Probably 90% of them or more have had to do with water, on the water, or at the water.
Our trips haven't been to exotic locales or to any far away places. We honeymooned in San Diego and stayed on Mission Beach and near Coronado Island. We've been to practically every beach destination up and down the east coast from Florida to Rhode Island. Whether just a long weekend or a 10 day journey, we really enjoy the beach.
So, we thought it only fitting to plan our first family vacation with Nastya to the beach. We left Friday after school and just got home a little earlier this evening. It was during this short weekend journey that a portion of my life has come full circle.
Over the years, I cannot count the many days, nights, hours, and minutes that I would sit on the balcony of the resort, condo, or hotel that we were staying and look out into the ocean and just let the waves take away all my stresses. In the early morning, I would get up and grab a cup of coffee and meander out and watch the sunrise. In the afternoon, I can just sit for hours and just relax the day away. In the evening and at night, I sit out and listen to the waves and look up at the stars. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, I absolutely love it.
During these times over the past several years, this has been my "me time". Sometimes I daydream. Sometime I have little chats with myself. Sometimes I make lists and take inventory of who I am or what I want to become or things that I have to do. Sometimes I look at the pretty girls in bikinis walking by. (Just checking to see if you were still paying attention with that one.)
And sometimes, I have talks with God. The last several trips, I recall the conversations being those of wonder and questioning why things were happening the way they were in my life. For as long as I can remember, I always left every "sitting" with the simple prayer..."God, please help LA and I to become a Mommy and a Daddy."
I found myself sitting on the balcony of the 19th floor of our condo Friday night, sitting oceanfront in my oversized and quite comfy armchair. But this time, I didn't have to ask God to help me become a Daddy. Nastya was sitting right there with me.
LA was sitting on the other side of Nastya and we were just sitting there looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves crash on the beach. Nobody was talking. We were winding down for the evening and getting ready to go to bed. I had my hand holding Nastya's right hand and LA was gently playing with Nastya's freshly shampooed hair. As we sat there, I looked up at the stars and said "Thank you God".
My balcony "me times" have come full circle and I am truly blessed to be a proud son, brother, husband, and now a Papa. No more angry words with God from the oceanfront balconies on why bad things happen to good people. But tears of joy, as my heart smiles and Nastya and LA sit right there beside me. I know that all too soon Nastya won't want to spend time sitting on the balcony with her old "black and gray" haired Papa. I can promise you that I am going to enjoy every minute while I can!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Life Lessons
It has been 78 days since LA and Nastya came home.
As of 9:30pm tonight, it will have been 1872 hours...111,320 minutes...6,739,200 seconds...but who is counting?
The easiest way to describe the last 6.7 million seconds is simple. Absolutely, positively, and overwhelmingly the best 111,320 minutes of my life!
Even though it hasn't been all rainbows and roses the entire time, I firmly believe that everyone's life that Nastya has touched in her short time with us has changed for the better. I would also hope that Nastya's life has changed for the better and that she is learning as much from her new family as she is teaching.
I want to share just a few of the things that this proud Papa has learned from this darling little 11 year old. Some belly jiggling hilarious and others rather profound and earth shattering. But good life lessons nonetheless.
In no particular order...here I go...
* The idea of taking a nap as a 37 year old Papa doesn't ring the same tune for an 11 year old girl.
* English is a really hard language to learn. Case in point...why do we pronounce the letter "W" the way we do, when it actually looks like two "V"s put together? And whoever decided that "you" is pronounced "u" and the first two letters are there but are silent?
* Its okay to laugh at yourself and have a good time, even if it means a scraped up knee and elbow from falling off your skateboard.
* Strawberry yogurt is much better than strawberry/banana yogurt and black cherry flavor doesn't necessarily taste the same as cherry flavor.
* Scooby Doo can be your hero.
* It doesn't matter what direction you fold the towels or Papa's hanker chiefs as long as you get them folded and put away, aka... don't sweat the small stuff.
* A vanilla cone with cherry dip from Dairy Queen is indeed the highlight of the summer.
* On Big Brother, why is it that when the contestants say they are going home after an eviction, they are actually leaving the home that is the focal point and premise of the show?
* Pillow fighting is cool and throwing water balloons is ten times more fun.
* Thunderstorms can still be scary at 1 o'clock in the morning.
* Picking up Daisy's poop isn't fun at all, but a necessary part of life.
* Sometimes life is hard and learning new things can be frustrating, no matter how smart or how old you are.
* In "American Football" why do you only get 1 point for kicking the ball through the 2 yellow sticks sometimes and get 3 points other times?
* Going to the pool is fun, even if you have to suffer through Mama or Papa smearing sunblock all over you.
* Live your life like a sponge and soak up everything and everyone as much as you can.
I could probably keep listing these little tidbits until I got 78, one for each day she has been with us. Now that I think about it, I could probably come up with 1872 which would be one for each hour she has been home. But for everyone's sake, I will stop on the sponge one. It seems the most profound stopping point and pinpoints the remarkable progress, joy, and love that Nastya has brought into my life.
Here's to life lessons learned and a big thank you to the best daughter in the world for making the last 6,739,200 seconds the best times of your Papa's life!
As of 9:30pm tonight, it will have been 1872 hours...111,320 minutes...6,739,200 seconds...but who is counting?
The easiest way to describe the last 6.7 million seconds is simple. Absolutely, positively, and overwhelmingly the best 111,320 minutes of my life!
Even though it hasn't been all rainbows and roses the entire time, I firmly believe that everyone's life that Nastya has touched in her short time with us has changed for the better. I would also hope that Nastya's life has changed for the better and that she is learning as much from her new family as she is teaching.
I want to share just a few of the things that this proud Papa has learned from this darling little 11 year old. Some belly jiggling hilarious and others rather profound and earth shattering. But good life lessons nonetheless.
In no particular order...here I go...
* The idea of taking a nap as a 37 year old Papa doesn't ring the same tune for an 11 year old girl.
* English is a really hard language to learn. Case in point...why do we pronounce the letter "W" the way we do, when it actually looks like two "V"s put together? And whoever decided that "you" is pronounced "u" and the first two letters are there but are silent?
* Its okay to laugh at yourself and have a good time, even if it means a scraped up knee and elbow from falling off your skateboard.
* Strawberry yogurt is much better than strawberry/banana yogurt and black cherry flavor doesn't necessarily taste the same as cherry flavor.
* Scooby Doo can be your hero.
* It doesn't matter what direction you fold the towels or Papa's hanker chiefs as long as you get them folded and put away, aka... don't sweat the small stuff.
* A vanilla cone with cherry dip from Dairy Queen is indeed the highlight of the summer.
* On Big Brother, why is it that when the contestants say they are going home after an eviction, they are actually leaving the home that is the focal point and premise of the show?
* Pillow fighting is cool and throwing water balloons is ten times more fun.
* Thunderstorms can still be scary at 1 o'clock in the morning.
* Picking up Daisy's poop isn't fun at all, but a necessary part of life.
* Sometimes life is hard and learning new things can be frustrating, no matter how smart or how old you are.
* In "American Football" why do you only get 1 point for kicking the ball through the 2 yellow sticks sometimes and get 3 points other times?
* Going to the pool is fun, even if you have to suffer through Mama or Papa smearing sunblock all over you.
* Live your life like a sponge and soak up everything and everyone as much as you can.
I could probably keep listing these little tidbits until I got 78, one for each day she has been with us. Now that I think about it, I could probably come up with 1872 which would be one for each hour she has been home. But for everyone's sake, I will stop on the sponge one. It seems the most profound stopping point and pinpoints the remarkable progress, joy, and love that Nastya has brought into my life.
Here's to life lessons learned and a big thank you to the best daughter in the world for making the last 6,739,200 seconds the best times of your Papa's life!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Cuckoo Nastya
I have definitely come to the conclusion that I am learning far more from Nastya than she is learning from me.
Simple things. Complicated things. And everything in between.
Her perspective on life, family, and her new world as a whole is quite amazing to witness. Not a day goes by that something she says or does just puts a smile on my face, gives me a nugget of "food for thought", or just a plain belly shaking laugh. And Lord knows, I have quite a belly to shake when she makes me laugh!
Probably the biggest lesson I have learned from Nastya is that no matter what the circumstance, when all else fails, laugh. And, its okay to laugh at yourself.
Tonight's agenda is a perfect example to illustrate this very point.
For the last couple weeks, Thursday night has been Papa/Nastya night, as LA has had to work. We have kind of set a routine for our nights together and it includes a rather lengthly walk with Daisy. So, I don my tennis shoes, grab Daisy's leash, and head out into the 100 degree heat ready to conquer the world. Nastya puts on her "bike riding" tennis shoes, gets her bike out of the garage, puts on her helmet, and we head out.
Tonight was a little more adventurous than our normal path. Instead of our normal route, despite the 105 degree heat index, we took a longer and more indirect route. On our journey, not once, but twice, Nastya wasn't paying attention to what she was doing and crashed her bike, falling onto the turf. The first one, she said "the grass jumped up" and got in her way; and the second time, one of Raleigh infamous green monster trash cans just magically grew legs and jumped into her path. Neither of them were hard collisions nor were they anything to be worried about for her safety. But the best reaction in the world followed both events...
Nastya gracefully untangled her legs from the bike that has fallen on top of her, brushed off the bermuda grass from her shirt, shorts, socks, and she starts chuckling; shaking her head in disbelief and uttering the words "Cuckoo Nastya".
What could have been two dramatic events with scraped knees, hurt feelings, and a banged up bike (which is her pride and joy possession at this point), turned into a pretty cool moment. Those 2 simple words puts it all in perspective.
One more quick story along those same lines.
A few days ago, Nastya and I went to the local Harris Teeter grocery store to pick up a couple items. On our way out, she picked out a complimentary yellow balloon to take home. We got to the car to load the groceries in the trunk and she insisted in loading them all by herself. So, I stepped back and let her do her thing. When we got home, we went to unload them and this is where the second lesson was learned.
There were 4 paper bags full of groceries and 2 gallons of milk to bring into the house. Nastya quickly did the math and decided that she would take 2 bags and 1 gallon of milk and I was to take the other 2 bags and gallon of milk. Not forgetting the balloon and having her hands full, I could see her calculating how to carry it in the house as well. I sat back and watched the wheels spin in her head for a brief second as she decided that she would put the string in her mouth.
4 bags of groceries....check.
2 gallons of milk...check.
1 yellow balloon...check.
We made our way into the house and were walking up our driveway into the garage with groceries (and balloon) in tote. Not thinking that the balloon was so carefully placed between her lips, I turned to ask her if she was okay carrying the 2 bags and gallon of milk. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth and yep you guessed it. Bye Bye balloon.
Once again, without hesitation, Nastya didn't cry or get upset, but just started chuckling in such a manner that made me start to laugh too. We looked up to the sky and there went the Harris Teeter balloon. At this point, I realized that this was a moment to cherish and just have a good laugh with her. We put the groceries and milk down on the driveway and watched as the balloon slowly drifted westward and upward into the heavens. After 5 minutes of watching the balloon float into the distance and with what is now warm milk, some previously frozen ice cream, and some cold items that are now luke warm, from sitting in the driveway as we watched this balloon sail into the sunset, she looked at me and said "Nastya and yellow balloon cuckoo".
As weird as it may sound, that five minute period was one of the coolest Papa/Nastya moments to date. And by the way Harris Teeter, I am still waiting for our royalty check for the 5 free minutes of advertising over North Raleigh as the balloon drifted over neighborhoods and probably dropped into someones yard miles away.
Both of these events taught me that you cannot take yourself too seriously. In the eyes of a child, loosing a balloon and crashing your bike could be tragic events. But not for Nastya. She just laughed and chalked it up to a couple new life lessons learned.
If by chance in the future life throws you a curve ball, just take a lesson from Nastya and say "Cuckoo Life". I know I will.
Simple things. Complicated things. And everything in between.
Her perspective on life, family, and her new world as a whole is quite amazing to witness. Not a day goes by that something she says or does just puts a smile on my face, gives me a nugget of "food for thought", or just a plain belly shaking laugh. And Lord knows, I have quite a belly to shake when she makes me laugh!
Probably the biggest lesson I have learned from Nastya is that no matter what the circumstance, when all else fails, laugh. And, its okay to laugh at yourself.
Tonight's agenda is a perfect example to illustrate this very point.
For the last couple weeks, Thursday night has been Papa/Nastya night, as LA has had to work. We have kind of set a routine for our nights together and it includes a rather lengthly walk with Daisy. So, I don my tennis shoes, grab Daisy's leash, and head out into the 100 degree heat ready to conquer the world. Nastya puts on her "bike riding" tennis shoes, gets her bike out of the garage, puts on her helmet, and we head out.
Tonight was a little more adventurous than our normal path. Instead of our normal route, despite the 105 degree heat index, we took a longer and more indirect route. On our journey, not once, but twice, Nastya wasn't paying attention to what she was doing and crashed her bike, falling onto the turf. The first one, she said "the grass jumped up" and got in her way; and the second time, one of Raleigh infamous green monster trash cans just magically grew legs and jumped into her path. Neither of them were hard collisions nor were they anything to be worried about for her safety. But the best reaction in the world followed both events...
Nastya gracefully untangled her legs from the bike that has fallen on top of her, brushed off the bermuda grass from her shirt, shorts, socks, and she starts chuckling; shaking her head in disbelief and uttering the words "Cuckoo Nastya".
What could have been two dramatic events with scraped knees, hurt feelings, and a banged up bike (which is her pride and joy possession at this point), turned into a pretty cool moment. Those 2 simple words puts it all in perspective.
One more quick story along those same lines.
A few days ago, Nastya and I went to the local Harris Teeter grocery store to pick up a couple items. On our way out, she picked out a complimentary yellow balloon to take home. We got to the car to load the groceries in the trunk and she insisted in loading them all by herself. So, I stepped back and let her do her thing. When we got home, we went to unload them and this is where the second lesson was learned.
There were 4 paper bags full of groceries and 2 gallons of milk to bring into the house. Nastya quickly did the math and decided that she would take 2 bags and 1 gallon of milk and I was to take the other 2 bags and gallon of milk. Not forgetting the balloon and having her hands full, I could see her calculating how to carry it in the house as well. I sat back and watched the wheels spin in her head for a brief second as she decided that she would put the string in her mouth.
4 bags of groceries....check.
2 gallons of milk...check.
1 yellow balloon...check.
We made our way into the house and were walking up our driveway into the garage with groceries (and balloon) in tote. Not thinking that the balloon was so carefully placed between her lips, I turned to ask her if she was okay carrying the 2 bags and gallon of milk. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth and yep you guessed it. Bye Bye balloon.
Once again, without hesitation, Nastya didn't cry or get upset, but just started chuckling in such a manner that made me start to laugh too. We looked up to the sky and there went the Harris Teeter balloon. At this point, I realized that this was a moment to cherish and just have a good laugh with her. We put the groceries and milk down on the driveway and watched as the balloon slowly drifted westward and upward into the heavens. After 5 minutes of watching the balloon float into the distance and with what is now warm milk, some previously frozen ice cream, and some cold items that are now luke warm, from sitting in the driveway as we watched this balloon sail into the sunset, she looked at me and said "Nastya and yellow balloon cuckoo".
As weird as it may sound, that five minute period was one of the coolest Papa/Nastya moments to date. And by the way Harris Teeter, I am still waiting for our royalty check for the 5 free minutes of advertising over North Raleigh as the balloon drifted over neighborhoods and probably dropped into someones yard miles away.
Both of these events taught me that you cannot take yourself too seriously. In the eyes of a child, loosing a balloon and crashing your bike could be tragic events. But not for Nastya. She just laughed and chalked it up to a couple new life lessons learned.
If by chance in the future life throws you a curve ball, just take a lesson from Nastya and say "Cuckoo Life". I know I will.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Good Night Pa
Can you believe it? As I sit here tonight, it has been over 5 weeks since we welcomed Nastya home. And I must say, it has been a great 5 weeks. Not a day goes by that I don't count my blessings and thank God for what he has done for our family.
It has been a rather busy few weeks with lots of new experiences for Nastya and us as a new family. It is so neat to watch Nastya learn, grow, and try and conquer this new world that she now calls home. No matter what the challenge at hand, she tackles it with gusto and embraces the opportunities that are put in front of her.
There have been two big highlights in our last couple of weeks since my last post. The 4th of July holiday weekend and Nastya's first day of school. This year more than any other, I truly understand the importance of this holiday and how fortunate we are to be Americans. Having traveled to a far away land and having experienced a new culture and way of life during this past year, I appreciate what we have in the good ole' US of A even more.
The 4th of July weekend was a great time for us. We celebrated in grand style and kicked off "Happy Birthday America" with a cookout at MiMi and PopPop's house. Nastya had a blast...no pun intended. We shot off fireworks, lit sparklers, and started the weekend with a bang. The highlight of the evening for me was watching her face light up as we set off fireworks and watching her chase and try to catch the paratrooper that fell from the sky out of the middle of a couple of them. And might I add...she was a perfect two for two!
We also went to our first Carolina Railhawks game as a family, where we wrapped up the night watching a festive fireworks display. It was so cool just sitting back and watching her take it all in. This was her first experience around such a large group of people. Watching Swoops, the ever so popular Railhawks mascot, wander around the stadium, and people watching got the biggest "Oh My Gosh" reactions of the night. A Carolina victory didn't go unnoticed either, as she kept track of the score throughout and reminded me that the orange team was "Good" and the white team was "Bad". All accompanied by the frequent finger points to the scoreboard with play by play updates dropped in on occasion. My favorite memory of the night has to be sitting back and watching her watch the fireworks display overhead. You could just see her face light up as bright as the night sky that shimmered with each "ooooh" and "aaaaah".
And probably the most momentous and rough day for me so far...her first day of school. I cried like a baby as Nastya left the house and rode with LA to school for the first time. But not Nastya! She headed out with her head up...confidence in tow...and ready to conquer the world. The night before her first day I was a basket case and the few moments right before she left for school were right up there on the Daddy worry meter. But she was cool as ice and made me so proud.
Nastya is beginning to speak more and more English every day and she seems to really enjoy school and the whole learning process. She just soaks it all up like a sponge. I am amazed that after five short weeks, Nastya is starting to put thoughts together and trying to put those thoughts into words. Sometimes you can just see her brain processing everything, like the movements on an antique timepiece...slowly moving in time to move those hands forward. The nouns are coming really quickly, with the verbs absent most of the time at this point. But we get what she is trying to say and she knows we get it. The past, present, and future tense and verb conjugation always got me too!
The emotions of the last couple of weeks run the gamut as well. If I had to put a "positive/negative meter" on things, I would have to say they have been about 90% positive and 10% negative. I am not afraid or ashamed to admit that I am struggling with a couple of internal battles that make it hard sometimes though. Overall though, the postive outway the negative tenfold.
The most difficult battle so far is balancing work and personal life since becoming a PaPa. My work requires me to travel on occasion. We have worked so hard to get to this point and I have such intense feelings of guilt when I am not home that it is hard to overcome. I take great pride in my work and want to do continue to do be successful professionally, but I struggle with how to come to an inner peace on this. I know that I put in the long hours and travel the miles on the open road to support my family. I get that. It is just hard not being home and feeling that I am missing out or that Nastya is missing out on me not being around.
On the other end of the emotion spectrum and in a wierd tie in to the above, our nightly bedtime routine warms my heart to no end. This past week or so, Nastya has started responding to LA's and my "Good Night Sweetheart", with "Good Night Pa" and "Good Night Ma".
Those three words bring music to my ears and joy to my heart. No matter what life throws at me for the day, when the night winds down and I tuck my sweet little girl into bed and hear those three words, all is right in the world.
To top it all off, this week, I got my first unsolicited "I love Pa". I had just tucked her into bed and received my customary "sugar" on my cheek and ever exuberant good night "high five". As I turned to walk out the door and head downstairs to wind down a little, I heard those words and had to do a double take. I turned around almost in what seemed to be slow motion and said "PaPa loves you too"! A moment in time that I will never forget. Ever.
So, in closing, I leave you with this thought and summary of the past five weeks...
I am not sure who is learning more...me or Nastya? Being a PaPa is pretty darn cool!
It has been a rather busy few weeks with lots of new experiences for Nastya and us as a new family. It is so neat to watch Nastya learn, grow, and try and conquer this new world that she now calls home. No matter what the challenge at hand, she tackles it with gusto and embraces the opportunities that are put in front of her.
There have been two big highlights in our last couple of weeks since my last post. The 4th of July holiday weekend and Nastya's first day of school. This year more than any other, I truly understand the importance of this holiday and how fortunate we are to be Americans. Having traveled to a far away land and having experienced a new culture and way of life during this past year, I appreciate what we have in the good ole' US of A even more.
The 4th of July weekend was a great time for us. We celebrated in grand style and kicked off "Happy Birthday America" with a cookout at MiMi and PopPop's house. Nastya had a blast...no pun intended. We shot off fireworks, lit sparklers, and started the weekend with a bang. The highlight of the evening for me was watching her face light up as we set off fireworks and watching her chase and try to catch the paratrooper that fell from the sky out of the middle of a couple of them. And might I add...she was a perfect two for two!
We also went to our first Carolina Railhawks game as a family, where we wrapped up the night watching a festive fireworks display. It was so cool just sitting back and watching her take it all in. This was her first experience around such a large group of people. Watching Swoops, the ever so popular Railhawks mascot, wander around the stadium, and people watching got the biggest "Oh My Gosh" reactions of the night. A Carolina victory didn't go unnoticed either, as she kept track of the score throughout and reminded me that the orange team was "Good" and the white team was "Bad". All accompanied by the frequent finger points to the scoreboard with play by play updates dropped in on occasion. My favorite memory of the night has to be sitting back and watching her watch the fireworks display overhead. You could just see her face light up as bright as the night sky that shimmered with each "ooooh" and "aaaaah".
And probably the most momentous and rough day for me so far...her first day of school. I cried like a baby as Nastya left the house and rode with LA to school for the first time. But not Nastya! She headed out with her head up...confidence in tow...and ready to conquer the world. The night before her first day I was a basket case and the few moments right before she left for school were right up there on the Daddy worry meter. But she was cool as ice and made me so proud.
Nastya is beginning to speak more and more English every day and she seems to really enjoy school and the whole learning process. She just soaks it all up like a sponge. I am amazed that after five short weeks, Nastya is starting to put thoughts together and trying to put those thoughts into words. Sometimes you can just see her brain processing everything, like the movements on an antique timepiece...slowly moving in time to move those hands forward. The nouns are coming really quickly, with the verbs absent most of the time at this point. But we get what she is trying to say and she knows we get it. The past, present, and future tense and verb conjugation always got me too!
The emotions of the last couple of weeks run the gamut as well. If I had to put a "positive/negative meter" on things, I would have to say they have been about 90% positive and 10% negative. I am not afraid or ashamed to admit that I am struggling with a couple of internal battles that make it hard sometimes though. Overall though, the postive outway the negative tenfold.
The most difficult battle so far is balancing work and personal life since becoming a PaPa. My work requires me to travel on occasion. We have worked so hard to get to this point and I have such intense feelings of guilt when I am not home that it is hard to overcome. I take great pride in my work and want to do continue to do be successful professionally, but I struggle with how to come to an inner peace on this. I know that I put in the long hours and travel the miles on the open road to support my family. I get that. It is just hard not being home and feeling that I am missing out or that Nastya is missing out on me not being around.
On the other end of the emotion spectrum and in a wierd tie in to the above, our nightly bedtime routine warms my heart to no end. This past week or so, Nastya has started responding to LA's and my "Good Night Sweetheart", with "Good Night Pa" and "Good Night Ma".
Those three words bring music to my ears and joy to my heart. No matter what life throws at me for the day, when the night winds down and I tuck my sweet little girl into bed and hear those three words, all is right in the world.
To top it all off, this week, I got my first unsolicited "I love Pa". I had just tucked her into bed and received my customary "sugar" on my cheek and ever exuberant good night "high five". As I turned to walk out the door and head downstairs to wind down a little, I heard those words and had to do a double take. I turned around almost in what seemed to be slow motion and said "PaPa loves you too"! A moment in time that I will never forget. Ever.
So, in closing, I leave you with this thought and summary of the past five weeks...
I am not sure who is learning more...me or Nastya? Being a PaPa is pretty darn cool!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
My Heart is Smiling
If today and the past week are what dreams are made of, I never want to wake up! Today was my very first Father's Day and was a wonderful culmination of a wonderful week.
Over the years, male friends of mine that have had kids have always said that it is a feeling like no other to see your kids grow up and experience all that life brings their way. That you no longer get up in the morning and just to go through the motions, but you awaken with a renewed vigor every morning for the sole purpose of loving your kids.
This week brought these emotions to the forefront and for the first time, I got to experience this remarkable feeling every single day. In a way, ever since Nastya and LA showed up at RDU a little over two weeks ago, I have felt a new feeling that I had never experienced. But until this week, I really couldn't pinpoint what the feeling was.
In preparation for writing this update tonight, over the past couple days I have thought long and hard to find the right words to describe this feeling. The closest that I can get is that "my heart is smiling". Through and through, this week has been a true blessing in every sense of the word.
It has been a week of many firsts for me, our family, and Nastya. Going into the week, there was a hidden potential for a rough week. But as I sit here tonight, I can say that the Puskars, especially Nastya came through with flying colors.
Since my last post, it has been quite a busy week. Last Saturday we started off the weekend with my Mom's birthday celebration and then were honored to be invited to share in two other homecoming and birthday parties on Sunday for some dear friends of ours that have adopted kids from the same program that we did. When Nastya went to bed Sunday night, I can only imagine that she was thinking that her new family does a lot of partying!
Monday started off with Nastya's first appointment with the pediatrician. This is where the potential for disaster could have started. 7 shots and 4 vials of blood later, LA walked out of the appointment with Nastya and MiMi with smiles and some pretty cool looking band aids to show her battle wounds!
Wednesday was my second favorite day of the week this week. Last week, Nastya had expressed interest in wanting to get her ears pierced. So, knowing that this week was going to be doozy with her dr appointment and everything, we scheduled a fun outing for her. Thanks to MiMi and PopPop, Nastya picked out some new purple earrings bearing her birthstone and bravely got her ears pierced. And at Nastya's request, I stood by her side holding her hand as the very kind lady at Merle Norman did the piercing. I don't know who had more fun, me or Nastya, as this is one of the events at the top of the list that I have always wanted to share with a daughter.
Thursday brought another first for Nastya, as she visited the dentist with LA. Because dental hygiene and going to the dentist is such a foreign concept to Nastya, we made special arrangements with our dentist for LA to have her cleaning, with Nastya watching. We also arranged for a family friend to come and translate for Nastya and explain the whole process to her. Thanks to Dr. Foy and her great team, and our friend Katerina, Nastya left feeling comfortable about the process and we have scheduled her appointment for the upcoming weeks. Once again, another possible bump in the road avoided.
This weekend was a busy one as well. My Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol from Pennsylvania came to town to visit with us and to meet Nastya. Not trying to suck up or anything, but Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol are the side of the family you don't just feel obligated to see, but really relish the chance to spend time with and hang out. Nastya fell in love with Aunt Carol and her "yellow hair" and of course did the same with Uncle Larry and his "no hair". They shared laughs, many underwater somersaults in the pool, and quite a few hugs over the weekend! Nastya walked away from her brief time with them this weekend really knowing how much she means to our family and how much Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol love her. Also, an extra special thank you to them for taking Nastya shopping and getting her her first bike. And the pizza afterwards was just icing on the cake!
That leads us into today. Father's Day. I woke up this morning for the first time on this special day as a PaPa. Today was special in every way. Right after breakfast, Nastya and LA gave me a handmade card from Nastya, a card from LA, and a gift that I will cherish forever. A canvas portrait of the three of us on our first day together back on April 1 on the grounds of the orphanage. Oh how far we have come in the last few months! We then watched Charlotte's Web together as a family, a movie that Nastya has been eyeing since she first saw the DVD cover on our end table a few days ago.
This afternoon, after less than 24 hours of having a new bike, I stand proud saying that Nastya learned how to ride a bike! Until yesterday, she had never been on one. With the help of Ms. Linda, Mama, and Papa, she can now ride around the circle in our neighborhood all by herself! To see her shear determination to ride that bike this weekend and to finally see all that effort pay off when she was off on her own, made my heart smile.
If you can believe it, the day got even better. We got to spend time with my Dad and went out for supper to celebrate our first Father's Day together. If I end up being half the Papa to Nastya that he has been a Dad to me I will consider myself pretty successful. Thanks Dad for all that you have done for me and know that Nastya loves her PopPop...mochi mochi...
And tonight, after shower time and during our nightly wind down time before bed, Nastya jumped in the bed between LA and I for the first time. With Daisy at the foot of the bed, we laid together as a family and watched the college baseball world series. It didn't matter what was on tv...it was what was lying in the bed beside me that mattered. And of course, it didn't hurt that she was enjoying watching the game with me!
AsI tucked her in bed tonight, I could help but feel that feelling in my heart. From hearing her version of the pediatrician's visit on Monday night and how proud of her I was that she was such a trooper having to get all those shots...to holding her hand while she got her ears pierced...to watching her never give up while she tried to ride her bike by herself...to having her lay on my shoulder and watch tv with me and LA tonight...my heart is smiling.
Over the years, male friends of mine that have had kids have always said that it is a feeling like no other to see your kids grow up and experience all that life brings their way. That you no longer get up in the morning and just to go through the motions, but you awaken with a renewed vigor every morning for the sole purpose of loving your kids.
This week brought these emotions to the forefront and for the first time, I got to experience this remarkable feeling every single day. In a way, ever since Nastya and LA showed up at RDU a little over two weeks ago, I have felt a new feeling that I had never experienced. But until this week, I really couldn't pinpoint what the feeling was.
In preparation for writing this update tonight, over the past couple days I have thought long and hard to find the right words to describe this feeling. The closest that I can get is that "my heart is smiling". Through and through, this week has been a true blessing in every sense of the word.
It has been a week of many firsts for me, our family, and Nastya. Going into the week, there was a hidden potential for a rough week. But as I sit here tonight, I can say that the Puskars, especially Nastya came through with flying colors.
Since my last post, it has been quite a busy week. Last Saturday we started off the weekend with my Mom's birthday celebration and then were honored to be invited to share in two other homecoming and birthday parties on Sunday for some dear friends of ours that have adopted kids from the same program that we did. When Nastya went to bed Sunday night, I can only imagine that she was thinking that her new family does a lot of partying!
Monday started off with Nastya's first appointment with the pediatrician. This is where the potential for disaster could have started. 7 shots and 4 vials of blood later, LA walked out of the appointment with Nastya and MiMi with smiles and some pretty cool looking band aids to show her battle wounds!
Wednesday was my second favorite day of the week this week. Last week, Nastya had expressed interest in wanting to get her ears pierced. So, knowing that this week was going to be doozy with her dr appointment and everything, we scheduled a fun outing for her. Thanks to MiMi and PopPop, Nastya picked out some new purple earrings bearing her birthstone and bravely got her ears pierced. And at Nastya's request, I stood by her side holding her hand as the very kind lady at Merle Norman did the piercing. I don't know who had more fun, me or Nastya, as this is one of the events at the top of the list that I have always wanted to share with a daughter.
Thursday brought another first for Nastya, as she visited the dentist with LA. Because dental hygiene and going to the dentist is such a foreign concept to Nastya, we made special arrangements with our dentist for LA to have her cleaning, with Nastya watching. We also arranged for a family friend to come and translate for Nastya and explain the whole process to her. Thanks to Dr. Foy and her great team, and our friend Katerina, Nastya left feeling comfortable about the process and we have scheduled her appointment for the upcoming weeks. Once again, another possible bump in the road avoided.
This weekend was a busy one as well. My Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol from Pennsylvania came to town to visit with us and to meet Nastya. Not trying to suck up or anything, but Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol are the side of the family you don't just feel obligated to see, but really relish the chance to spend time with and hang out. Nastya fell in love with Aunt Carol and her "yellow hair" and of course did the same with Uncle Larry and his "no hair". They shared laughs, many underwater somersaults in the pool, and quite a few hugs over the weekend! Nastya walked away from her brief time with them this weekend really knowing how much she means to our family and how much Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol love her. Also, an extra special thank you to them for taking Nastya shopping and getting her her first bike. And the pizza afterwards was just icing on the cake!
That leads us into today. Father's Day. I woke up this morning for the first time on this special day as a PaPa. Today was special in every way. Right after breakfast, Nastya and LA gave me a handmade card from Nastya, a card from LA, and a gift that I will cherish forever. A canvas portrait of the three of us on our first day together back on April 1 on the grounds of the orphanage. Oh how far we have come in the last few months! We then watched Charlotte's Web together as a family, a movie that Nastya has been eyeing since she first saw the DVD cover on our end table a few days ago.
This afternoon, after less than 24 hours of having a new bike, I stand proud saying that Nastya learned how to ride a bike! Until yesterday, she had never been on one. With the help of Ms. Linda, Mama, and Papa, she can now ride around the circle in our neighborhood all by herself! To see her shear determination to ride that bike this weekend and to finally see all that effort pay off when she was off on her own, made my heart smile.
If you can believe it, the day got even better. We got to spend time with my Dad and went out for supper to celebrate our first Father's Day together. If I end up being half the Papa to Nastya that he has been a Dad to me I will consider myself pretty successful. Thanks Dad for all that you have done for me and know that Nastya loves her PopPop...mochi mochi...
And tonight, after shower time and during our nightly wind down time before bed, Nastya jumped in the bed between LA and I for the first time. With Daisy at the foot of the bed, we laid together as a family and watched the college baseball world series. It didn't matter what was on tv...it was what was lying in the bed beside me that mattered. And of course, it didn't hurt that she was enjoying watching the game with me!
AsI tucked her in bed tonight, I could help but feel that feelling in my heart. From hearing her version of the pediatrician's visit on Monday night and how proud of her I was that she was such a trooper having to get all those shots...to holding her hand while she got her ears pierced...to watching her never give up while she tried to ride her bike by herself...to having her lay on my shoulder and watch tv with me and LA tonight...my heart is smiling.
Friday, June 10, 2011
What I Learned This Week
Can you believe it? As I sit here in my home office typing this update, it has officially been one full week since LA and Nastya have been home. Last Friday night, I laid my head down on the pillow a new man. My wife...my daughter...and my four-legged daughter...were all home, under one roof, sleeping soundly for the first time together. Now the first week is in our rear view mirror and we are preparing for our journey ahead.
It has been a week of many firsts for me and I have learned alot about myself, Nastya, and LA. I find myself sitting back and trying to imagine life without Nastya being in our family and I can't. It feels as if she has been with us forever. For the most part it has been a very good week. We have had a few minor hiccups, but nothing that was unexpected or that we weren't prepared for.
All in all, Nastya is settling in very well and is soaking in her new world like a sponge. Everything that she touches, sees, smells, hears, and feels is virtually new to her and everyday is new adventure. The best part of this past week is sitting back and watching her evolve, learn, and grow as she tackles the challenges of her new life with us.
I am amazed at the progress and ways that she has handled all of the newness of this past week and I am so proud of her. We have attempted to get settled into a daily routine and form a sense of structure within our new family. Nastya seems to thrive on structure, scheduling, and knowing what the "plan" is for the day, tomorrow, and the next day. She has settled into our daily routines very nicely and is handling everything we throw her way like a champ.
Our goal for the first couple of weeks has been to establish a sense of family for her and for us as new parents. To gain her trust and know that we love her and will never abandon her. This new life is not only new to Nastya, but to LA and myself. We have never been parents before either. So, this is all new to all of us. I think I am adjusting rather well and I definitely know I have learned some valuable life lessons and felt some absolutely cool things this week.
Here is what I learned this week...not to put too much milk on her cornflakes because it makes them too mushy...that I really need to brush up on my Wii skills as Nastya has kicked my hiney several times at various sports...there must be a minimum of 4 stuffed animals in her bed in very particular places in order for the stars to align at night (Bunny, Casey, her yet to be named purple unicorn pillow pet, and Little Foot seem to occupy prime realty at night)...holding my daughter's hand as we walk around Old Navy is pretty neato...there isn't much "me" time anymore except before 9am and after 9pm...mushrooms and garlic pizza seem to be a pretty safe go-to special treat dinner...Nastya is quite athletic and loves swimming, playing catch, and watching women's college softball and men's college baseball with her Papa...Scooby Doo can be your hero...Daisy needs a break from Nastya sometimes and retreats to her own floor of the house on occasion...tucking her in at night and having her run downstairs when I get home for the day are absolutely the best feelings in the world...and...having an 11 year old daughter is pretty darn cool!
I could go on and on and on and on. Get my drift? The feelings that I have had this past week run the spectrum of emotion, with only a few fleeting moments of not knowing what to do. I fully understand that at some point the honeymoon period is going to end and we are going to have to once again figure out how to make lemonade out of lemons. But for right now, I am just going to sit back and enjoy my new life as a new Papa.
Without coming across as too hokey, I must give a few shout outs to some very important people before I sign off for the night. The feelings, experiences, and my life as I now know it wouldn't be possible without some very special people in our lives.
Aunt Allyson...MiMi and Poppop...Granddaddy and Grandmama...Elena and Mark...the Cline Family...Liliya and Luda...LA's bible study friends...Angie and Jim...Mr. Jim Farrell...and everyone that came out to the airport to support us last Friday night.
(I just felt a little like the teacher in Romper Room for a minute there...)
We couldn't have done this without your love, support, understanding, and prayers. Nastya, LA, and myself are so blessed to be in the position we are in right now. I can promise you that I will never take any of it or any of you for granted.
It has been extremely clear to me over this past week, if it hadn't already been as plain as day before...that this was not "OUR" plan through and through. But it was God's plan for us and we are blessed to be new parents and have Nastya in our lives. I now understand why LA and I had to experience the heartbreak and challenges over the years...so that we can appreciate what we have now. Funny how it all works out huh?
In closing, a special little something for my daughter...my PPP... my Puskar Pinky Princess...Once you learn to read English and later on in life when you are sitting down and reading your Papa's blog, please know one thing...Papa loves you and always will. You are my everything. Mama and Papa love you so much and will always be here for you!
It has been a week of many firsts for me and I have learned alot about myself, Nastya, and LA. I find myself sitting back and trying to imagine life without Nastya being in our family and I can't. It feels as if she has been with us forever. For the most part it has been a very good week. We have had a few minor hiccups, but nothing that was unexpected or that we weren't prepared for.
All in all, Nastya is settling in very well and is soaking in her new world like a sponge. Everything that she touches, sees, smells, hears, and feels is virtually new to her and everyday is new adventure. The best part of this past week is sitting back and watching her evolve, learn, and grow as she tackles the challenges of her new life with us.
I am amazed at the progress and ways that she has handled all of the newness of this past week and I am so proud of her. We have attempted to get settled into a daily routine and form a sense of structure within our new family. Nastya seems to thrive on structure, scheduling, and knowing what the "plan" is for the day, tomorrow, and the next day. She has settled into our daily routines very nicely and is handling everything we throw her way like a champ.
Our goal for the first couple of weeks has been to establish a sense of family for her and for us as new parents. To gain her trust and know that we love her and will never abandon her. This new life is not only new to Nastya, but to LA and myself. We have never been parents before either. So, this is all new to all of us. I think I am adjusting rather well and I definitely know I have learned some valuable life lessons and felt some absolutely cool things this week.
Here is what I learned this week...not to put too much milk on her cornflakes because it makes them too mushy...that I really need to brush up on my Wii skills as Nastya has kicked my hiney several times at various sports...there must be a minimum of 4 stuffed animals in her bed in very particular places in order for the stars to align at night (Bunny, Casey, her yet to be named purple unicorn pillow pet, and Little Foot seem to occupy prime realty at night)...holding my daughter's hand as we walk around Old Navy is pretty neato...there isn't much "me" time anymore except before 9am and after 9pm...mushrooms and garlic pizza seem to be a pretty safe go-to special treat dinner...Nastya is quite athletic and loves swimming, playing catch, and watching women's college softball and men's college baseball with her Papa...Scooby Doo can be your hero...Daisy needs a break from Nastya sometimes and retreats to her own floor of the house on occasion...tucking her in at night and having her run downstairs when I get home for the day are absolutely the best feelings in the world...and...having an 11 year old daughter is pretty darn cool!
I could go on and on and on and on. Get my drift? The feelings that I have had this past week run the spectrum of emotion, with only a few fleeting moments of not knowing what to do. I fully understand that at some point the honeymoon period is going to end and we are going to have to once again figure out how to make lemonade out of lemons. But for right now, I am just going to sit back and enjoy my new life as a new Papa.
Without coming across as too hokey, I must give a few shout outs to some very important people before I sign off for the night. The feelings, experiences, and my life as I now know it wouldn't be possible without some very special people in our lives.
Aunt Allyson...MiMi and Poppop...Granddaddy and Grandmama...Elena and Mark...the Cline Family...Liliya and Luda...LA's bible study friends...Angie and Jim...Mr. Jim Farrell...and everyone that came out to the airport to support us last Friday night.
(I just felt a little like the teacher in Romper Room for a minute there...)
We couldn't have done this without your love, support, understanding, and prayers. Nastya, LA, and myself are so blessed to be in the position we are in right now. I can promise you that I will never take any of it or any of you for granted.
It has been extremely clear to me over this past week, if it hadn't already been as plain as day before...that this was not "OUR" plan through and through. But it was God's plan for us and we are blessed to be new parents and have Nastya in our lives. I now understand why LA and I had to experience the heartbreak and challenges over the years...so that we can appreciate what we have now. Funny how it all works out huh?
In closing, a special little something for my daughter...my PPP... my Puskar Pinky Princess...Once you learn to read English and later on in life when you are sitting down and reading your Papa's blog, please know one thing...Papa loves you and always will. You are my everything. Mama and Papa love you so much and will always be here for you!
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