Letting Go

Yesterday was a hard day for me personally. Hard in a good way though. My OCD kicked in and was definitely in control. Yesterday afternoon we met with the Cline Family in Cary. A wonderful family that is also adopting children from Ukraine. It was our handoff of the official paperwork for us to move forward with the adoption. Shelly and Eugene are leaving this coming weekend for Ukraine to start their overseas process. Giving up that paperwork was hard! LA and I have worked for 4 1/2 months compiling all of the necessary documents. To those families that have gone through this process, you understand. To others, it is quite a mountain of paperwork, approvals, notaries, certifications, clearances, etc that you have to complete. With faith and confidence though, I handed it to Shelly and Eugene for them to safely deliver it to the appropriate parties overseas. As I think about it, I can only imagine and wonder how this first "letting go" event in our journey and relationship with Nastya will impact and be like or dislike other events. We met the Clines through this process but we really do not KNOW them. We trust they will handle our paperwork with care. It is a proven process that other families have used to transfer paperwork overseas as it saves a tremendous amount of money. We trust Shelly and Eugene with it as we know that they know the feelings that accompany this event. But I am still scared. Is this going to be the same feeling that I have when we drop Nastya off at her first day of school here in NC? Is this going to be the same feeling that I have when that so neatly and cleanly dressed young man comes to pick her up for her first date? Is this going to be the same feeling that I have as we move her into the dorm when she goes away to college? Is this going to be the same feeling that I have as the same neatly and cleanly dressed young man asks for my daughters hand in marriage? Is this going to be the same feelings thta I have as I walk her down the aisle? Nastya is not officially my daughter yet. I know that. I understand that we have a long way to go and that this is a marathon, not a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. But I can only imagine how I am going to feel about these other events that I will hopefully experience as a proud Daddy. All I can do is pray that when I am letting go in each of these situations, God will take control and is watching out for LA, Nastya, and me. (And the paperwork! ha ha) Just as I KNOW but don't KNOW the Clines...I will know but not know the teacher, young man, roommates, friends, and young man that will enter Nastya's life...but I know sure that I will do my very best to prepare her (and myself) to let go.