A short legal disclaimer to all my blog followers...
If you happen to work for Johnson and Johnson, the company that makes this great product, my advance apologies. Also, if this happens to get in front of one of the legal advisors for this fabulous product, I mean no harm or ill will. (Can you clearly tell that I grew up watching too much Judge Judy or Judge Wapner on People's Court? I get it honestly though...my Dad has watched the Cooper trial on WRAL.com for the past 6 weeks, not missing a single minute.)
By no means is this a blast against the makers of Tylenol, but I cannot take those little pills anymore...especially at bedtime. In what I have self-diagnosed as a side effect of taking Tylenol at night, I have had seriously vivid dreams the last couple of nights. I have long felt this way, as I never remember my dreams when I wake up...except, if I take Tylenol in the evening before bed.
Or do I need to thank Johnson and Johnson for making this fabulous product and providing me these wonderful dreams?
Let me explain.
Guess who has occupied my dreams that last couple of nights? Second guesses don't count.
Ding ding ding...we have a winner...Nastya.
I have had Daddy Dreams the last 2 nights. Last night was the very first night in this entire process that I dreamt about Nastya being in our home. The details were so vivid when I woke up. We had been walking through the house on the very first night and introducing her to her new world. Where her room was. That the entire GREEN bathroom was hers. What the light switches on the wall controlled. The fact that Daisy's favorite place to sleep happens to be on a rather comfy chair in Nastya's new room.
It felt all so real. LA was there, along with some family and friends. To see her smile as she realized what her new world involved and to share in those precious moments.
The night prior I dreamt of my girls arriving at RDU airport. By my girls, I mean LA AND Nastya. I am not sure who I missed more in this reunion!
When we embark on this next part of the journey, LA and I will spend 3 days travelling to the region for court...then partake in the court process...then travel 3 days back. LA to England to stay with some family friends for the "waiting period" and me home to Raleigh. I will then see Nastya and LA, about 4-5 weeks later, sometime in mid-June. So the questions are this.
After 3 days of travelling, do I take the Tylenol to help ease what I am sure will be some general body aches?
After not seeing my girls for 5 weeks, do I take the Tylenol to help the heartache of missing these two so?
Or do I sit back and wait, sans Tylenol, and just relish the idea that in only a 5-6 week span, we will all be reunited forever?
Reunited Forever definitely replaces the need for the Tylenol in my opinion! And a little dose of Daisy back in my life during the break definitely won't hurt!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Divine Intervention
Not less than a few hours after I made the previous post, I received a phone call that we have a scheduled court date!
Never doubt the power of prayer! God is good! Nastya here we come!
Never doubt the power of prayer! God is good! Nastya here we come!
Patience is a Virtue
Ever heard that phrase uttered from a paternal or maternal figure? I have.
It is the single hardest virtue to wrap my arms around at this very moment though. The waiting is taking its toll and it is getting harder and harder to be patient.
We were advised prior to leaving Ukraine that we would receive an update no later than April 20th. April 20th came. April 20th went. It is now nearing the end of the day on April 21st. Nothing. Patience huh?
When LA and I found out that we were going to encounter a delay in our process, admittedly, we had a little pity party. As we thought about it more and talked through it, we realized that we could do nothing about the situation. At that moment, a very vivid moment in my mind...a Wednesday afternoon to be exact...we came to the conclusion that we needed to make the best decision we could, using our brains rather than our hearts. So, we decided to return home and wait it out from there. That is the decision that made the most logical sense with the time table we were facing.
As you may have read in one of my earlier posts, we were doing our best to take the lemons that were handed to us and make lemonade. Let me just tell you something...after a while, if you drink too much lemonade and that is all you drink for a long time, you start to get sick of lemonade.
For those of you that have acid reflux or acidic beverages give you heart burn...you know what I mean. Or have you ever forgotten you had a small ulcer or cold sore on the inside of your cheek and then drank something acidic, i.e. this fabulous lemonade, and were quickly reminded of this nimble flaw? Or even better yet...you just brushed your teeth with the latest and greatest teeth whitening Scope flavored toothpaste...then took a swallow of some lemonade? That is the taste in my mouth right now. And no, its not from either of these quirky reminders.
While I am on the topic of lemons...
Those that know me best, know that I enjoy a small slice of lemon in my unsweetened iced tea or a small wedge garnishing a Diet Coke or a cold glass of water. Without a doubt, these are my go to beverages of choice, no matter the destination, climate, or condition. And my Mom is very well aware of the fact that there is nothing more in the kitchen chore world that I don't like doing...cutting up a ripe whole lemon to be able to have on hand for such a drink.
Ironic huh? My favorite drinks and yet my least favorite kitchen chore...
I need to make a special shout out to Mom for always having them neatly cut and in an old butter or cottage cheese container in her fridge marked "Eric". Taking the time out of her schedule to buy, cut, and package these little morsels. Allowing me to take some home with me for this very reason. And may I add, she cuts them to the perfect size so that I can squeeze one through the whole in the top of a bottle of Aquafina too!
I digressed for a second, my apologies...but Mom is extremely deserving of that little side bar.
What I was getting at before my little diversion, was that the emotional tool from the waiting is starting to add up. For me personally, this wait is harder than the wait we had prior to making our first trip to see Nastya. Our first wait was well over 7 months. Our current wait is approaching 14 days.
While we were over there, we got to spend quality time with her. See her in her environment. Hear her call me Papa. Swing on the monkey bars together. Share a hug and see her radiant smile. Play hide and seek in the waiting area of the office. (And may I add, despite my rather stout girth, I play a mean game of hide and seek.)
This was time that actually felt like we were a family already. A feeling that I never experienced before from the Daddy side of things. And now that I have experienced that, it is really hard to be separated from her. I am not naive enough to think that I am officially her father yet, but in my heart I am. I have been ever since I saw her. That is what makes the waiting so hard at this point.
That and the unknown. Up until this point, we have had an idea of the time frame. Ever since we started the initial home study paperwork, we kind of had an idea of the time frame associated with each step. Now, we don't have a clue and its hard to wrap my head, brain, AND heart around.
Don't take what I am saying wrong though. I have the utmost confidence in the people that are working their magic for us. I know they have our best interests at heart and are doing what they can to navigate the ever changing waters for us. Deep, deep, deep down, I know that. Nonetheless, that piece of confidence doesn't take away the emptiness of the wait.
A couple valuable lessons that I have learned from this whole emotional mess are that once your heart is involved, life gets progressively more difficult. And, having felt the feelings I felt when we spent time together those 5 days, I walked away with a greater sense of purpose. Life is no longer about me...or me and LA...its about Nastya.
I cannot help but relate our process to the Easter holiday and all its tragic and ultimately glorious moments. Am I feeling what the apostles and people felt waiting for Jesus to be crucified, buried, and to rise from the dead? When the people were promised that on the third day he would rise and they had to wait? Patiently wait for scripture to be fulfilled?
So, as this Easter weekend is upon us and we enter the most holy of times, I pray that God grants me the patience needed to get through this process. That he holds Nastya's hand during this waiting period. That he fills Nastya's heart with the love that LA and I have for her. And that he guides the efforts of those in control of our situation.
At a very early age my Mom embedded in my thick skull that patience is a virtue. As I have grown up and especially over the past couple of years, Mom and I have often joked with each other, "Lord, give me patience...but give it to me now." Well Lord...I am waiting...patiently...
It is the single hardest virtue to wrap my arms around at this very moment though. The waiting is taking its toll and it is getting harder and harder to be patient.
We were advised prior to leaving Ukraine that we would receive an update no later than April 20th. April 20th came. April 20th went. It is now nearing the end of the day on April 21st. Nothing. Patience huh?
When LA and I found out that we were going to encounter a delay in our process, admittedly, we had a little pity party. As we thought about it more and talked through it, we realized that we could do nothing about the situation. At that moment, a very vivid moment in my mind...a Wednesday afternoon to be exact...we came to the conclusion that we needed to make the best decision we could, using our brains rather than our hearts. So, we decided to return home and wait it out from there. That is the decision that made the most logical sense with the time table we were facing.
As you may have read in one of my earlier posts, we were doing our best to take the lemons that were handed to us and make lemonade. Let me just tell you something...after a while, if you drink too much lemonade and that is all you drink for a long time, you start to get sick of lemonade.
For those of you that have acid reflux or acidic beverages give you heart burn...you know what I mean. Or have you ever forgotten you had a small ulcer or cold sore on the inside of your cheek and then drank something acidic, i.e. this fabulous lemonade, and were quickly reminded of this nimble flaw? Or even better yet...you just brushed your teeth with the latest and greatest teeth whitening Scope flavored toothpaste...then took a swallow of some lemonade? That is the taste in my mouth right now. And no, its not from either of these quirky reminders.
While I am on the topic of lemons...
Those that know me best, know that I enjoy a small slice of lemon in my unsweetened iced tea or a small wedge garnishing a Diet Coke or a cold glass of water. Without a doubt, these are my go to beverages of choice, no matter the destination, climate, or condition. And my Mom is very well aware of the fact that there is nothing more in the kitchen chore world that I don't like doing...cutting up a ripe whole lemon to be able to have on hand for such a drink.
Ironic huh? My favorite drinks and yet my least favorite kitchen chore...
I need to make a special shout out to Mom for always having them neatly cut and in an old butter or cottage cheese container in her fridge marked "Eric". Taking the time out of her schedule to buy, cut, and package these little morsels. Allowing me to take some home with me for this very reason. And may I add, she cuts them to the perfect size so that I can squeeze one through the whole in the top of a bottle of Aquafina too!
I digressed for a second, my apologies...but Mom is extremely deserving of that little side bar.
What I was getting at before my little diversion, was that the emotional tool from the waiting is starting to add up. For me personally, this wait is harder than the wait we had prior to making our first trip to see Nastya. Our first wait was well over 7 months. Our current wait is approaching 14 days.
While we were over there, we got to spend quality time with her. See her in her environment. Hear her call me Papa. Swing on the monkey bars together. Share a hug and see her radiant smile. Play hide and seek in the waiting area of the office. (And may I add, despite my rather stout girth, I play a mean game of hide and seek.)
This was time that actually felt like we were a family already. A feeling that I never experienced before from the Daddy side of things. And now that I have experienced that, it is really hard to be separated from her. I am not naive enough to think that I am officially her father yet, but in my heart I am. I have been ever since I saw her. That is what makes the waiting so hard at this point.
That and the unknown. Up until this point, we have had an idea of the time frame. Ever since we started the initial home study paperwork, we kind of had an idea of the time frame associated with each step. Now, we don't have a clue and its hard to wrap my head, brain, AND heart around.
Don't take what I am saying wrong though. I have the utmost confidence in the people that are working their magic for us. I know they have our best interests at heart and are doing what they can to navigate the ever changing waters for us. Deep, deep, deep down, I know that. Nonetheless, that piece of confidence doesn't take away the emptiness of the wait.
A couple valuable lessons that I have learned from this whole emotional mess are that once your heart is involved, life gets progressively more difficult. And, having felt the feelings I felt when we spent time together those 5 days, I walked away with a greater sense of purpose. Life is no longer about me...or me and LA...its about Nastya.
I cannot help but relate our process to the Easter holiday and all its tragic and ultimately glorious moments. Am I feeling what the apostles and people felt waiting for Jesus to be crucified, buried, and to rise from the dead? When the people were promised that on the third day he would rise and they had to wait? Patiently wait for scripture to be fulfilled?
So, as this Easter weekend is upon us and we enter the most holy of times, I pray that God grants me the patience needed to get through this process. That he holds Nastya's hand during this waiting period. That he fills Nastya's heart with the love that LA and I have for her. And that he guides the efforts of those in control of our situation.
At a very early age my Mom embedded in my thick skull that patience is a virtue. As I have grown up and especially over the past couple of years, Mom and I have often joked with each other, "Lord, give me patience...but give it to me now." Well Lord...I am waiting...patiently...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
My Reflections
Ok. We are safely home in the good ole' US of A. Have a couple nights of sleep under our belts and slowly starting to get back into our normal routine. It is an extremely odd feeling to be home, with no events on the calendar or a to do list a mile long. Since we didn't plan on being home quite yet, we had our calendars clear until the beginning of May for myself and until late May for LA. In all honesty, it feels kind of nice.
Now, we just sit and wait...again. It kind of seems like deja vu all over again. The last waiting period was for our big appointment date with the adoption dept in Ukraine. Thought all the waiting would be over at this point, but I guess they don't care what I think. We now wait for our court date and then frantically scramble all over again to make air reservations and pack for another trip.
I am slowly starting to get reacclimated to work. Only returned to 120 email messages. Over a 2 week period that isn't too shabby. Some days I get upwards of 100. A special shout out to those at work (you know who you are) that have been so gracious, understanding, and accepting of our situation. It is going to take a little while to get caught up and back into the flow of things, but that was to be expected. Onward and upward on that front.
As I sit here this evening and type this I cannot help but reflect on a couple of items in particular. First and foremost, how weird it is to not have Nastya here and not see her everyday. Mentally, I had prepared for the next time LA was home, we would have our daughter with us. Nope. Not yet.
When we first got back, I could not bring myself to look into her room. Bed neatly made, full of stuffed animals and freshly washed pink, blue, and yellow sheets and pillows. The couple of books laid out on her night stand. Some favorites of LA's when she was a little girl and some of the books I enjoyed as a child. The neatly organized closet with freshly pressed clothes and a few other girly odds and ends. Already and more so than any other time during this journey, with all this stuff in it...it felt so empty. Soon, maybe I will bring myself to the point where I can spend some quiet time in there, sitting on the chair thinking of the memories that will soon fill that space. I guess that will happen more so when LA is actually over there preparing to bring Nastya home for good. I relish the chance to hear laughter or chatter come from those hallowed walls. If that room could talk, it would divulge the many hours I stood in the doorway dreaming of having a son or daughter to fill it. Soon...really soon...that reality will be here.
LA...what can I say about my dear wife. Without a doubt, the last couple of weeks has brought us to a point in our relationship that we love each other more today than at any other point in our marriage. Didn't think that could happen to be honest. We have been through such a grind the last 3-4 years on the baby/child/kids front that we grew really close through all the heartbreak along the way. I was her crutch when she needed me. She was mine. Since this journey began, we knew it was going to be a stressful period of our lives and that we have made a decision to adopt Nastya that will forever change the dynamic of our relationship. Remarkably and with profound pride, I must let you know how proud I am of LA during this time and how much I am looking forward to seeing her be a Mommy. From the girl down the street that I used to take notice as she washed her car, wearing a pair of umbro shorts, highlighting her oh so sexy legs...to the friend that used to tolerate guys night at Applebee's watching Monday Night Football with us...to my live in roommate in a 2 bedroom apt overlooking Lake Lynn...to my financee...my wife...and soon to be the mother of my daughter. What a journey. What a ride.
What did I learn from this first 2 week journey?
I learned that no matter how much you plan, your plan is not the master plan. God is in total control and will guide you along the way. He holds your hand and walks you through the cobblestone streets and along the grassy knolls. You must have faith that he doesn't give you anything you cannot handle. Sometimes though, God's sense of humor is kind of hard to digest....
I learned that LA is my best friend. Not a new lesson learned, but one further set in concrete.
I learned that I am kind of tired of eating grilled ham, egg, and cheese sandwiches, accompanied by white rice. Please do not take any offense LA...I enjoyed your cooking while there and my waist line has benefitted, but a little variation and some home cooking is in my plan the next couple of days.
I learned that the counsel that you receive is not always accurate. Not intentionally inaccurate. Not deliberate by any means. But I have learned to take counsel with a grain of salt; process and prepare your mind for the counsel you receive, but also be open to "surprises" and "unprecedented" alterations to those words of guidance.
I learned that family is the most important element of my life. I missed my Mom, Dad, and Petunia. I am extremely blessed to that I usually get to talk to them every day. Not being able to do that while gone left a little empty place in my heart. John and Vicky, you have been instrumental in our progress and I feel we have grown closer than ever before. Much love to you all.
I learned AND confirmed how much I want to be a Daddy. That girl has stolen my heart and it is clear that it won't be long before she has me wrapped around that little finger of hers. I cannot wait for her to be here with us as an official Puskar.
I learned that patience is needed in this process and that we now must wait. This wait is no easier or any harder than the first. A little harder to accept and understand, but I have realized that it is out of our control.
I learned that we have great friends that love us and support us. All of you reading this are appreciated and thanks will never be enough.
Until next time...
Now, we just sit and wait...again. It kind of seems like deja vu all over again. The last waiting period was for our big appointment date with the adoption dept in Ukraine. Thought all the waiting would be over at this point, but I guess they don't care what I think. We now wait for our court date and then frantically scramble all over again to make air reservations and pack for another trip.
I am slowly starting to get reacclimated to work. Only returned to 120 email messages. Over a 2 week period that isn't too shabby. Some days I get upwards of 100. A special shout out to those at work (you know who you are) that have been so gracious, understanding, and accepting of our situation. It is going to take a little while to get caught up and back into the flow of things, but that was to be expected. Onward and upward on that front.
As I sit here this evening and type this I cannot help but reflect on a couple of items in particular. First and foremost, how weird it is to not have Nastya here and not see her everyday. Mentally, I had prepared for the next time LA was home, we would have our daughter with us. Nope. Not yet.
When we first got back, I could not bring myself to look into her room. Bed neatly made, full of stuffed animals and freshly washed pink, blue, and yellow sheets and pillows. The couple of books laid out on her night stand. Some favorites of LA's when she was a little girl and some of the books I enjoyed as a child. The neatly organized closet with freshly pressed clothes and a few other girly odds and ends. Already and more so than any other time during this journey, with all this stuff in it...it felt so empty. Soon, maybe I will bring myself to the point where I can spend some quiet time in there, sitting on the chair thinking of the memories that will soon fill that space. I guess that will happen more so when LA is actually over there preparing to bring Nastya home for good. I relish the chance to hear laughter or chatter come from those hallowed walls. If that room could talk, it would divulge the many hours I stood in the doorway dreaming of having a son or daughter to fill it. Soon...really soon...that reality will be here.
LA...what can I say about my dear wife. Without a doubt, the last couple of weeks has brought us to a point in our relationship that we love each other more today than at any other point in our marriage. Didn't think that could happen to be honest. We have been through such a grind the last 3-4 years on the baby/child/kids front that we grew really close through all the heartbreak along the way. I was her crutch when she needed me. She was mine. Since this journey began, we knew it was going to be a stressful period of our lives and that we have made a decision to adopt Nastya that will forever change the dynamic of our relationship. Remarkably and with profound pride, I must let you know how proud I am of LA during this time and how much I am looking forward to seeing her be a Mommy. From the girl down the street that I used to take notice as she washed her car, wearing a pair of umbro shorts, highlighting her oh so sexy legs...to the friend that used to tolerate guys night at Applebee's watching Monday Night Football with us...to my live in roommate in a 2 bedroom apt overlooking Lake Lynn...to my financee...my wife...and soon to be the mother of my daughter. What a journey. What a ride.
What did I learn from this first 2 week journey?
I learned that no matter how much you plan, your plan is not the master plan. God is in total control and will guide you along the way. He holds your hand and walks you through the cobblestone streets and along the grassy knolls. You must have faith that he doesn't give you anything you cannot handle. Sometimes though, God's sense of humor is kind of hard to digest....
I learned that LA is my best friend. Not a new lesson learned, but one further set in concrete.
I learned that I am kind of tired of eating grilled ham, egg, and cheese sandwiches, accompanied by white rice. Please do not take any offense LA...I enjoyed your cooking while there and my waist line has benefitted, but a little variation and some home cooking is in my plan the next couple of days.
I learned that the counsel that you receive is not always accurate. Not intentionally inaccurate. Not deliberate by any means. But I have learned to take counsel with a grain of salt; process and prepare your mind for the counsel you receive, but also be open to "surprises" and "unprecedented" alterations to those words of guidance.
I learned that family is the most important element of my life. I missed my Mom, Dad, and Petunia. I am extremely blessed to that I usually get to talk to them every day. Not being able to do that while gone left a little empty place in my heart. John and Vicky, you have been instrumental in our progress and I feel we have grown closer than ever before. Much love to you all.
I learned AND confirmed how much I want to be a Daddy. That girl has stolen my heart and it is clear that it won't be long before she has me wrapped around that little finger of hers. I cannot wait for her to be here with us as an official Puskar.
I learned that patience is needed in this process and that we now must wait. This wait is no easier or any harder than the first. A little harder to accept and understand, but I have realized that it is out of our control.
I learned that we have great friends that love us and support us. All of you reading this are appreciated and thanks will never be enough.
Until next time...
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Lemons Make Lemonade
Short and sweet today. Kind of tired and got to head to bed. Gotta get up in less than 12 hours to go to airport in the morning.
We started our 2 day trip back to the US this morning, flying out of the Crimea region and back to Kiev. Here we will eat, shower, and sleep until our early wake up call and ride to the airport before the sun even thinks of rising in the morning.
Why are we headed home already you ask? Well the process hand delivered some really ripe nice looking lemons in a pretty hand made basket and all we can do is sit back and make some southern style lemonade with them. Totally unexpectedly, we are having to wait an unprecedented amount of time to move onto the next part of our process and it makes sense to head home in the meantime.
On the negative side, we will have to make an additional trip back over here in the upcoming weeks. On the positive side, we get to come home to loved ones and our own king size, fitted sheet, down pillow, and comfy bed.
No fear though. We completed this portion of the process in a faster than expected pace. Just gottta come home and get that sugar to bring back to make the homemade lemonade!
Probably won't have another blog update until back in the US sometime over the weekend. We are excited to get home; a little anxious for this newly discovered wait; and hopeful for a quick resolution to our current situation.
LA has our dinner cooking and I can almost hear the pillow and bed calling my name. 1am is going to come awfully early...but we are Homeward Bound.
We started our 2 day trip back to the US this morning, flying out of the Crimea region and back to Kiev. Here we will eat, shower, and sleep until our early wake up call and ride to the airport before the sun even thinks of rising in the morning.
Why are we headed home already you ask? Well the process hand delivered some really ripe nice looking lemons in a pretty hand made basket and all we can do is sit back and make some southern style lemonade with them. Totally unexpectedly, we are having to wait an unprecedented amount of time to move onto the next part of our process and it makes sense to head home in the meantime.
On the negative side, we will have to make an additional trip back over here in the upcoming weeks. On the positive side, we get to come home to loved ones and our own king size, fitted sheet, down pillow, and comfy bed.
No fear though. We completed this portion of the process in a faster than expected pace. Just gottta come home and get that sugar to bring back to make the homemade lemonade!
Probably won't have another blog update until back in the US sometime over the weekend. We are excited to get home; a little anxious for this newly discovered wait; and hopeful for a quick resolution to our current situation.
LA has our dinner cooking and I can almost hear the pillow and bed calling my name. 1am is going to come awfully early...but we are Homeward Bound.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Many Pieces to the Puzzle
Ever sat down to put a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle together? LA and I used to put puzzles together all the time when we first got married. Some of them are even glued together and framed and hanging in a room in our house. We usually pick a puzzle that is a little challenging and has a theme associated to something that we enjoy such as travel, sports, or everyday living.
Being the OCD - Type A personality that I am, I clear off the table so we have plenty of room to spread out. I lay down the puzzle mat so we can roll it up and store it when we are not working the puzzle. I set the box up at just the right angle to be able to reference. I then sort the pieces into outside border pieces and inside pieces. Then methodically start working the outside and work my way inside. After the border is done, I choose an interior section of the puzzle to work on and using the already sorted colors and shapes that LA has worked on slowly make progress.
Sometimes, you get to a particular piece that is vital to move forward and you cannot find it. Or you realize that despite all the preparation and organization prior to piece them together, a piece dropped on the floor that you didn't notice. Or even better, you bought a cheap puzzle and some pieces are missing!
What I am getting at is that we use a logical, well thought out plan as we work the jigsaw puzzle. Like a recent Pittsburgh Steeler themed puzzle we put together, all the pieces go together nicely and within a few man hours of working on it, you see the fruits of your labor. Or there is that one puzzle that is sitting in the green felt roll up puzzle mat for storage that you haven't worked on for a year. Two extremes in the jigsaw puzzle world.
Today's happenings fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. Leaning towards the finished masterpiece side of things.
LA and I started this process of adopting Nastya in August 2010. We have since gathered the pieces of the puzzle one piece at a time, with the helpful guidance of some very knowledgeable and reliable people. We knew going into the process, especially in this part of our journey, just like working the jigsaw, that all the pieces may not be in sight at all times and you may have to work a little harder to find the needed piece or pieces. In the end, you know you will find it and you know that you finish the puzzle, but you experience a bump in the road as you cross that path to successful completion.
Some huge elements came together today and great progress is the overall theme of the day. But now, we are looking for that small piece of the puzzle that is needed to finish up the sections that are already worked on the inside and waiting to join its other friends in the finished project. Unfortuneately, the piece hasn't just fallen on the floor. Fortuneately, its in the box somewhere and we just have to find it.
We are confident we will find it and we are confident that the team helping us find it will prevail. We just have to be patient and wait for the piece to be found.
During this journey, there are many emotions that ebb and flow. I have experienced some very extreme highs and a couple of lows. I don't want to speak for LA, but from what we have talked about and what I have witnessed, she has experiences much of the same. Today we saw portions of the puzzle neatly fitted together and placed as planned; but, we also must wait for the puzzle gods to reveal the next pieces so we can bring home that masterpiece.
Being the OCD - Type A personality that I am, I clear off the table so we have plenty of room to spread out. I lay down the puzzle mat so we can roll it up and store it when we are not working the puzzle. I set the box up at just the right angle to be able to reference. I then sort the pieces into outside border pieces and inside pieces. Then methodically start working the outside and work my way inside. After the border is done, I choose an interior section of the puzzle to work on and using the already sorted colors and shapes that LA has worked on slowly make progress.
Sometimes, you get to a particular piece that is vital to move forward and you cannot find it. Or you realize that despite all the preparation and organization prior to piece them together, a piece dropped on the floor that you didn't notice. Or even better, you bought a cheap puzzle and some pieces are missing!
What I am getting at is that we use a logical, well thought out plan as we work the jigsaw puzzle. Like a recent Pittsburgh Steeler themed puzzle we put together, all the pieces go together nicely and within a few man hours of working on it, you see the fruits of your labor. Or there is that one puzzle that is sitting in the green felt roll up puzzle mat for storage that you haven't worked on for a year. Two extremes in the jigsaw puzzle world.
Today's happenings fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. Leaning towards the finished masterpiece side of things.
LA and I started this process of adopting Nastya in August 2010. We have since gathered the pieces of the puzzle one piece at a time, with the helpful guidance of some very knowledgeable and reliable people. We knew going into the process, especially in this part of our journey, just like working the jigsaw, that all the pieces may not be in sight at all times and you may have to work a little harder to find the needed piece or pieces. In the end, you know you will find it and you know that you finish the puzzle, but you experience a bump in the road as you cross that path to successful completion.
Some huge elements came together today and great progress is the overall theme of the day. But now, we are looking for that small piece of the puzzle that is needed to finish up the sections that are already worked on the inside and waiting to join its other friends in the finished project. Unfortuneately, the piece hasn't just fallen on the floor. Fortuneately, its in the box somewhere and we just have to find it.
We are confident we will find it and we are confident that the team helping us find it will prevail. We just have to be patient and wait for the piece to be found.
During this journey, there are many emotions that ebb and flow. I have experienced some very extreme highs and a couple of lows. I don't want to speak for LA, but from what we have talked about and what I have witnessed, she has experiences much of the same. Today we saw portions of the puzzle neatly fitted together and placed as planned; but, we also must wait for the puzzle gods to reveal the next pieces so we can bring home that masterpiece.
Monday, April 4, 2011
A Little "Ruski"
Rosetta Stone? No.
Oxford Dictionary? No.
Families that have travelled before us? No.
Some of the greatest kids in the world? YES!
It was the mouths of babes that I had my most successful Russian language learning session today. Armed with my 16 page cheat sheet of key Russian phrases, I sat down at a small desk in the lobby of the orphanage to spend time with LA, Nastya, and her friend Vika. Low and behold and totally by surprise, I was soon surrounded by 5, 6, and sometimes 10-12 kids trying to teach me Russian.
LA was busy entertaining Nastya with the Ipad. Uno, a drawing app, and photos were more important to her at the time than Papa learning a little bit of Russian. But the other kids enthusiastically helped and were very patient with me as I chopped it up a bit. A couple "Very Goods" and a couple "Good Jobs" from the 2 main "teachers" in the bunch gave me a brief sense of accomplishment. I must admit that I didn't retain all of it, but I did soak in every moment! I can now only imagine the task ahead for us to communicate with Nastya once we leave here and head home and now completely understand how she is going to feel learning English.
In addition to my impromptu Russian lessons, LA and I spent some alone time with Nastya and Vika. They are like bossom buddies. Nastya leads and Vika follows. With Mama and Papa a little behind. We walked out into a wooded area off to the west of the castle that is being reconstructed. We realized what a treat it is for them to walk out this direction as they aren't allowed on a usual basis. Having us there gave them an opportunity they surely couldn't pass up.
While out there, the girls enjoyed climbing trees and swinging on 2 rope swings attached to 2 separate trees at each end of the woods. The first one was a make shift swing that you hang from, self made by some rather ingenious kids. 2 pieces of burnt wood tied together with some rubber hose and flung up and over a high limb. Perfect for swinging back and forth and twisting in circles and becoming dizzy. The second was an old tattered rope that was once again so neatly concocted and designed and used more for upside down type swinging! They had a blast doing it and we had a blast watching!
LA and I met with Nastya's oldest sister today and her 5 month old daughter (Nastya's niece). We shared some laughs and photos and ensured that we had the best intentions in giving Nastya her forever home and would love her forever! The human element of family really entered the picture today. We have the joy of adding Nastya to ours, but we could also see the other side today for the first time.
Dinner was super fabulous tonight! LA prepared one of her greatest dishes as we returned to some good ole' American comfort food. After last night's dinner, we were looking forward to a little less stressful dining experience. Perfectly grilled ham, egg, and cheese sandwiches accompanied by some of the best pan seared hash brown potatoes a man could want! I think LA has been sandbagging it the last 11 years because her culinary skills are definitely surpassing her efforts on the other side of the pond.
Side bar...we are having a little difficulty...no, big difficulty... uploading pictures and connecting with Skype now. We were okay the first couple days here but as of yesterday, we are experiencing extremely slow speeds and are not able to upload or stay connected to anything that requires any significant amount of bandwith. So,with that said, we are able to blog no problem. We are able to receive emails and surf the web no problem. But other communications are a challenge right now. Keep the emails coming as we love to open our inbox and see notes from home.
Gonna call it a night and recharge for another full day tomorrow. Good night to all and may I leave you with one message. Children are God's most precious gift to us. Some of you have biological children of your own. Some of you are single and children aren't even in your vocabulary yet. Some of you are unable to have biological children of your own and may have "given up". Some of you have adopted and experienced this similar journey. Whatever your situation, please pray for these kids. Even though we don't speak the same language on our visits, these kids communicate with you in other ways. Each of them is special. Each of them has a lot of love to give. Each of them deserves to be loved. Pray for them. We will continue to love on them. And please consider what God is calling you to do in your life to help these kids.
Oxford Dictionary? No.
Families that have travelled before us? No.
Some of the greatest kids in the world? YES!
It was the mouths of babes that I had my most successful Russian language learning session today. Armed with my 16 page cheat sheet of key Russian phrases, I sat down at a small desk in the lobby of the orphanage to spend time with LA, Nastya, and her friend Vika. Low and behold and totally by surprise, I was soon surrounded by 5, 6, and sometimes 10-12 kids trying to teach me Russian.
LA was busy entertaining Nastya with the Ipad. Uno, a drawing app, and photos were more important to her at the time than Papa learning a little bit of Russian. But the other kids enthusiastically helped and were very patient with me as I chopped it up a bit. A couple "Very Goods" and a couple "Good Jobs" from the 2 main "teachers" in the bunch gave me a brief sense of accomplishment. I must admit that I didn't retain all of it, but I did soak in every moment! I can now only imagine the task ahead for us to communicate with Nastya once we leave here and head home and now completely understand how she is going to feel learning English.
In addition to my impromptu Russian lessons, LA and I spent some alone time with Nastya and Vika. They are like bossom buddies. Nastya leads and Vika follows. With Mama and Papa a little behind. We walked out into a wooded area off to the west of the castle that is being reconstructed. We realized what a treat it is for them to walk out this direction as they aren't allowed on a usual basis. Having us there gave them an opportunity they surely couldn't pass up.
While out there, the girls enjoyed climbing trees and swinging on 2 rope swings attached to 2 separate trees at each end of the woods. The first one was a make shift swing that you hang from, self made by some rather ingenious kids. 2 pieces of burnt wood tied together with some rubber hose and flung up and over a high limb. Perfect for swinging back and forth and twisting in circles and becoming dizzy. The second was an old tattered rope that was once again so neatly concocted and designed and used more for upside down type swinging! They had a blast doing it and we had a blast watching!
LA and I met with Nastya's oldest sister today and her 5 month old daughter (Nastya's niece). We shared some laughs and photos and ensured that we had the best intentions in giving Nastya her forever home and would love her forever! The human element of family really entered the picture today. We have the joy of adding Nastya to ours, but we could also see the other side today for the first time.
Dinner was super fabulous tonight! LA prepared one of her greatest dishes as we returned to some good ole' American comfort food. After last night's dinner, we were looking forward to a little less stressful dining experience. Perfectly grilled ham, egg, and cheese sandwiches accompanied by some of the best pan seared hash brown potatoes a man could want! I think LA has been sandbagging it the last 11 years because her culinary skills are definitely surpassing her efforts on the other side of the pond.
Side bar...we are having a little difficulty...no, big difficulty... uploading pictures and connecting with Skype now. We were okay the first couple days here but as of yesterday, we are experiencing extremely slow speeds and are not able to upload or stay connected to anything that requires any significant amount of bandwith. So,with that said, we are able to blog no problem. We are able to receive emails and surf the web no problem. But other communications are a challenge right now. Keep the emails coming as we love to open our inbox and see notes from home.
Gonna call it a night and recharge for another full day tomorrow. Good night to all and may I leave you with one message. Children are God's most precious gift to us. Some of you have biological children of your own. Some of you are single and children aren't even in your vocabulary yet. Some of you are unable to have biological children of your own and may have "given up". Some of you have adopted and experienced this similar journey. Whatever your situation, please pray for these kids. Even though we don't speak the same language on our visits, these kids communicate with you in other ways. Each of them is special. Each of them has a lot of love to give. Each of them deserves to be loved. Pray for them. We will continue to love on them. And please consider what God is calling you to do in your life to help these kids.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Where to Start?
Whew! Where do I start? Today has been absolutely slammed packed with excitement and has been our most adventurous day in Ukraine so far. Some old hat stuff and definitely some out of my comfort zone stuff.
We started out the day with a visit to Nastya and obviously that is the highlight of the day for us! Not just today, but any day we get to see Nastya is grande. We are starting to even know our way around town a little bit. Directions to the orphanage are pretty simple...go through 2 circles, pass the stone maker shop, and the lake and you are there. Just around the corner right? I feel like I am back in N. Raleigh...not...
Nastya introduced us to 2 of her best friends today on our visit and we shared time with all 3 of them. On our last visit she asked if they could come meet us and be with us today and we were so excited she wanted to show us part of her world. So far it has been us showing her our world. To see the excitement in her eyes and hear it in her voice about HER friends and HER little piece of the world is endearing. So, our Nastya, her good friend Veta, and our Nastya's other friend Nastya shared an exciting day. (For simplicity sake, we started calling Nastya's friend Nastya, "Nastya 2". So not to confuse, it was me, LA, our Nastya, Nastya "2", and Veta.)
We started the day with some more official business and paperwork and got to chat with the director of the orphanage and ask all the questions we wanted about the orphanage, Nastya, and anything else we could think of. It is very clear that she loves these kids very much and that she wants to see them find forever families.
Shortly after the official stuff, we gathered in the hallway and popped out the Ipad to show them some pictures that we had taken and brought with us. Family members, Daisy, friends, some of her that were sent to us from other families, our home, etc. The best reactions were to the ones of Daisy and the fact that Daisy sleeps on a chair in what is soon to be Nastya's room. Another picture of our Christmas spread and gifts from Santa Claus for her got some pretty good ooo's and ahhh's. The best moment was when they saw some pictures of some baked goods on a table at one of the fundraising crops LA held. They were definitely asking questions about that!
One thing that stands out the most about the picture viewing session is that each of her friends are very loving and caring and want to help us learn Russian and they want to understand the life that Nastya is going to live. Questions like "are all 3 of those windows into MY room?"; "Did Santa bring gifts for Nastya too?"; "Do you always get that much snow? (After seeing pictures of the 8" on the day after Christmas). None of the questions came out that way in English or in Russian for that matter; but a mixture of their broken English, our broken Russian, and a whole lot of cherades got us through. All of the girls were thrilled to see what world Nastya is moving to and you could see the glistening in their eyes that they all want that same thing one day too.
After pictures, we played a card game called "Durak". Which in Russian translates to "The Fool". Quick props to the Clines for giving us a heads up months ago that this is the card game that all kids over here grew up playing. So we got a head start and knew how to play when we showed up, which I must say was quite impressive to the girls that we knew how to play THEIR GAME! Brownie point #1 for us! Durak is a variation of the traditional WAR that all American kids grow up playing. At the end, the last one with any cards is "the fool" and Nastya giggled as she ended up being the last one. She was a great sport and quite a bit of fun for us all.
During all of our activities I definitely felt a connection with each of the girls. Her friends are very caring, sweet, and nurturing girls. Despite the hardships that they endure on a daily basis and the situations they come from, it is remarkable to see the resolve and love for others that comes out. This is best noted by Nastya's good friend Veta. She is a little smaller and younger than the other girls in her group but has the biggest heart of them all. As we were walking down to the playground to have some fun, I take a little longer route because it is flatter and more even terrain. With my recent ankle problems, whenever I can, I have to take the road less traveled sometimes. Of course, the kids always want to take the most fun, most direct route. Unfortuneately for me, that is straight down hill on old uneven steps and down some steep slopes. So, I meander around the outside driveway and down and meet up.
Today though, I didn't walk alone. Veta saw that I was starting to walk the other way as LA went the short way with the other girls. Veta came up behind me, grabbed my hand, and walked with me the whole way around! I almost lost it right then and there. To see that kind of love, caring, and compassion coming from such a troubled and hardened little girl. Absolutely brought me to tears. Totally unprompted, geniune caring for others. So strictened but yet so giving.
Once we met up at playground, LA joined the 3 girls playing on the jungle gym and monkey bars, as I stood and watched, holding jackets, and Veta's eyeglasses, and taking pictures. It was so much fun to witness the youthful play and to be a kid with them. Without at doubt, LA is going to be sore in the morning!
As our time wore down, we headed back up the main building, gave them some chocolate bars to share, and said our goodbyes. Hugs all around. Smiles from ear to ear on all 5 of us. And finally, LA and I got to use our newest addition to our Russian vocabulary..."Ya deb-ya lou-blue"...which is "I love you". As we walked away and headed to our waiting van, the 3 girls walked back to their dorm. You could hear Nastya tell Nastya "2" and Veta that we told her we loved her and they all girlishly laughed in great satisfaction.
On cloud nine, we headed back to the apartment after a short trip to the market to pick up a couple needed items. I actually went into the market on my own. Found the items that we needed rather easily and checked out! ALL BY MYSELF! I was rather proud of myself as this was quite an experience the first couple of times to the market.
After a quick break and wash up back at the apartment, we met up with the Cline family for dinner. It was great to see them over here and share in their excitement as they are nearing the end of their journey here and on their way back home with the 2 new additions to their family.
Here is where the comfort zone ended for me! We arranged to meet up with them outside our apartment and walk into the main part of town for dinner. Ok, let me tell you I was freaked out! This was my first time venturing out to a new place, on foot, near dusk, and to a place we had never been. LA has been chomping at the bit to get out and explore a little but I have been the ones holding the reins and saying "Whoa Nelly". So, onward we went.
Another out of the comfort zone experience happened at the cafe that we visited. No English words. Not a lick of anything that looked American. Thankfully we had some help from the experienced Cline Family to guide us. We did okay with our selections, carefully choosing our items as we walked down the cafeteria style set up...only after watching them do it. We ended up getting the whole ordering thing about 80% right and our choices were edible. Except the dessert that LA choose. It looked like chocolate pudding on the bottom with whipped cream and nuts on top. LA selected it after one of the others did so first. But to everyone's surprise...NOT what anyone expected. Chalk that experience in the memory and remember "what looks like chocolate, isn't always chocolate".
After dinner, we walked to the market again to get some insider info on some other good eats that they had enjoyed during their time here. When we were all done, we said our good byes and we headed home. In opposite directions. We no longer had our trusty friends guiding us. We were all on our own and at this point I was freaking out inside. But being the man of the situation, I didn't show the fear to LA and put one foot in front of the other and headed back to the apt. Around this circle, down these steps, under this road, around this corner, and finally home!!!!!!! Whew is all I can say.
I quickly took a nice cool shower to decompress from our day and got settled in for the night. As I was sitting down to upload our photos from today and prepare to type this update, we lost complete power in our apartment! We quickly called our coordinator and searched the apartment via Blackberry lighting for the breaker box. In a few minutes of searching we found it and "wala", we had flipped the breaker box. I guess you cannot charge your laptop, Ipad, and cell phone all at the same, while running a load of laundry! Totally our fault and lesson learned. Well, 2 lessons learned. Don't plug in too many things and next time don't forget the flashlight!
Ok. That was our day. A play by play version. Now on a serious note. I have been trying to use this blog as a method to share our experience with others and keep everyone updated with our stories. And on a personal level, to share my emotional journey and document my memories here for me to appreciate and enjoy later.
Today was exceptional. I wish I could bring each of these girls home with me. Each of them jumped up and grabbed a little piece of my heart and will forever rent space there. Getting outside my comfort zone sometimes is not a bad thing and I think it will help me grow as a person and most importantly as a good Papa. LA and I are so blessed to be able to experience what we are experiencing. Today was not about anything but the kindness of the human heart...a kid's heart...longing to be loved...to share love... and to have a family to call their very own.
We started out the day with a visit to Nastya and obviously that is the highlight of the day for us! Not just today, but any day we get to see Nastya is grande. We are starting to even know our way around town a little bit. Directions to the orphanage are pretty simple...go through 2 circles, pass the stone maker shop, and the lake and you are there. Just around the corner right? I feel like I am back in N. Raleigh...not...
Nastya introduced us to 2 of her best friends today on our visit and we shared time with all 3 of them. On our last visit she asked if they could come meet us and be with us today and we were so excited she wanted to show us part of her world. So far it has been us showing her our world. To see the excitement in her eyes and hear it in her voice about HER friends and HER little piece of the world is endearing. So, our Nastya, her good friend Veta, and our Nastya's other friend Nastya shared an exciting day. (For simplicity sake, we started calling Nastya's friend Nastya, "Nastya 2". So not to confuse, it was me, LA, our Nastya, Nastya "2", and Veta.)
We started the day with some more official business and paperwork and got to chat with the director of the orphanage and ask all the questions we wanted about the orphanage, Nastya, and anything else we could think of. It is very clear that she loves these kids very much and that she wants to see them find forever families.
Shortly after the official stuff, we gathered in the hallway and popped out the Ipad to show them some pictures that we had taken and brought with us. Family members, Daisy, friends, some of her that were sent to us from other families, our home, etc. The best reactions were to the ones of Daisy and the fact that Daisy sleeps on a chair in what is soon to be Nastya's room. Another picture of our Christmas spread and gifts from Santa Claus for her got some pretty good ooo's and ahhh's. The best moment was when they saw some pictures of some baked goods on a table at one of the fundraising crops LA held. They were definitely asking questions about that!
One thing that stands out the most about the picture viewing session is that each of her friends are very loving and caring and want to help us learn Russian and they want to understand the life that Nastya is going to live. Questions like "are all 3 of those windows into MY room?"; "Did Santa bring gifts for Nastya too?"; "Do you always get that much snow? (After seeing pictures of the 8" on the day after Christmas). None of the questions came out that way in English or in Russian for that matter; but a mixture of their broken English, our broken Russian, and a whole lot of cherades got us through. All of the girls were thrilled to see what world Nastya is moving to and you could see the glistening in their eyes that they all want that same thing one day too.
After pictures, we played a card game called "Durak". Which in Russian translates to "The Fool". Quick props to the Clines for giving us a heads up months ago that this is the card game that all kids over here grew up playing. So we got a head start and knew how to play when we showed up, which I must say was quite impressive to the girls that we knew how to play THEIR GAME! Brownie point #1 for us! Durak is a variation of the traditional WAR that all American kids grow up playing. At the end, the last one with any cards is "the fool" and Nastya giggled as she ended up being the last one. She was a great sport and quite a bit of fun for us all.
During all of our activities I definitely felt a connection with each of the girls. Her friends are very caring, sweet, and nurturing girls. Despite the hardships that they endure on a daily basis and the situations they come from, it is remarkable to see the resolve and love for others that comes out. This is best noted by Nastya's good friend Veta. She is a little smaller and younger than the other girls in her group but has the biggest heart of them all. As we were walking down to the playground to have some fun, I take a little longer route because it is flatter and more even terrain. With my recent ankle problems, whenever I can, I have to take the road less traveled sometimes. Of course, the kids always want to take the most fun, most direct route. Unfortuneately for me, that is straight down hill on old uneven steps and down some steep slopes. So, I meander around the outside driveway and down and meet up.
Today though, I didn't walk alone. Veta saw that I was starting to walk the other way as LA went the short way with the other girls. Veta came up behind me, grabbed my hand, and walked with me the whole way around! I almost lost it right then and there. To see that kind of love, caring, and compassion coming from such a troubled and hardened little girl. Absolutely brought me to tears. Totally unprompted, geniune caring for others. So strictened but yet so giving.
Once we met up at playground, LA joined the 3 girls playing on the jungle gym and monkey bars, as I stood and watched, holding jackets, and Veta's eyeglasses, and taking pictures. It was so much fun to witness the youthful play and to be a kid with them. Without at doubt, LA is going to be sore in the morning!
As our time wore down, we headed back up the main building, gave them some chocolate bars to share, and said our goodbyes. Hugs all around. Smiles from ear to ear on all 5 of us. And finally, LA and I got to use our newest addition to our Russian vocabulary..."Ya deb-ya lou-blue"...which is "I love you". As we walked away and headed to our waiting van, the 3 girls walked back to their dorm. You could hear Nastya tell Nastya "2" and Veta that we told her we loved her and they all girlishly laughed in great satisfaction.
On cloud nine, we headed back to the apartment after a short trip to the market to pick up a couple needed items. I actually went into the market on my own. Found the items that we needed rather easily and checked out! ALL BY MYSELF! I was rather proud of myself as this was quite an experience the first couple of times to the market.
After a quick break and wash up back at the apartment, we met up with the Cline family for dinner. It was great to see them over here and share in their excitement as they are nearing the end of their journey here and on their way back home with the 2 new additions to their family.
Here is where the comfort zone ended for me! We arranged to meet up with them outside our apartment and walk into the main part of town for dinner. Ok, let me tell you I was freaked out! This was my first time venturing out to a new place, on foot, near dusk, and to a place we had never been. LA has been chomping at the bit to get out and explore a little but I have been the ones holding the reins and saying "Whoa Nelly". So, onward we went.
Another out of the comfort zone experience happened at the cafe that we visited. No English words. Not a lick of anything that looked American. Thankfully we had some help from the experienced Cline Family to guide us. We did okay with our selections, carefully choosing our items as we walked down the cafeteria style set up...only after watching them do it. We ended up getting the whole ordering thing about 80% right and our choices were edible. Except the dessert that LA choose. It looked like chocolate pudding on the bottom with whipped cream and nuts on top. LA selected it after one of the others did so first. But to everyone's surprise...NOT what anyone expected. Chalk that experience in the memory and remember "what looks like chocolate, isn't always chocolate".
After dinner, we walked to the market again to get some insider info on some other good eats that they had enjoyed during their time here. When we were all done, we said our good byes and we headed home. In opposite directions. We no longer had our trusty friends guiding us. We were all on our own and at this point I was freaking out inside. But being the man of the situation, I didn't show the fear to LA and put one foot in front of the other and headed back to the apt. Around this circle, down these steps, under this road, around this corner, and finally home!!!!!!! Whew is all I can say.
I quickly took a nice cool shower to decompress from our day and got settled in for the night. As I was sitting down to upload our photos from today and prepare to type this update, we lost complete power in our apartment! We quickly called our coordinator and searched the apartment via Blackberry lighting for the breaker box. In a few minutes of searching we found it and "wala", we had flipped the breaker box. I guess you cannot charge your laptop, Ipad, and cell phone all at the same, while running a load of laundry! Totally our fault and lesson learned. Well, 2 lessons learned. Don't plug in too many things and next time don't forget the flashlight!
Ok. That was our day. A play by play version. Now on a serious note. I have been trying to use this blog as a method to share our experience with others and keep everyone updated with our stories. And on a personal level, to share my emotional journey and document my memories here for me to appreciate and enjoy later.
Today was exceptional. I wish I could bring each of these girls home with me. Each of them jumped up and grabbed a little piece of my heart and will forever rent space there. Getting outside my comfort zone sometimes is not a bad thing and I think it will help me grow as a person and most importantly as a good Papa. LA and I are so blessed to be able to experience what we are experiencing. Today was not about anything but the kindness of the human heart...a kid's heart...longing to be loved...to share love... and to have a family to call their very own.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Ketchup Anyone?
1pm Saturday. I was still in the bed. That kind of sums up the day that we had. Today was a day of rest, a little bit of learning, and a chance to emotionally recover and recharge for the upcoming days. Our coordinator did some traveling around the region conducting some business on our behalf but the work did not require us to go.
No big news today so I am going to use this time to just catch up on some odds and ends from the last couple days. Been trying to think of a way to tie it all together today but couldn't think of one. So, I am just gonna let it flow.
I think we have finally adjusted to the time change and we have had 2 complete nights sleep in a row. We heard from many families that traveled before us that the hardest part of the process is the emotional journey and that it takes a toll. I think we have experienced that to its fullest extent. The emotions have been flowing and I think unconsciously we were drained. Physically ok, just the body was tired from all the effort it takes to travel this emotional roller coaster.
LA and I watched a DVD on our computer this afternoon to try and escape for a bit. For a brief 2 hours, we didn't think of the process or being in a new place. We just spent a couple mindless hours laying in bed watching a movie together. Hadn't done that in years! It was pretty neat. I got myself thinking that I wasn't even overseas a bit during the movie. Felt right at home.
We are trying to learn a couple words and phrases per day to help us communicate with Nastya. Our broken Russian is indeed very broken and it makes the kids laugh when we use our Engligh southern accents to pronounce the words...but who cares. Laughter is universal. Today's goal was to conquer "I love you". I think we got it down and are ready to throw that one out there tomorrow when we see Nastya again.
I took over the cooking duties today. Believe it or not, LA has been doing all the cooking since we got over here. I know right? For those of you that know us best, LA's can cook a mean bowl of Rice Krispies and maybe some Kraft Mac and Cheese and that is about it. She has cooked us fried eggs, cheese sandwiches, white rice, ham sandwiches, etc. Get my drift? She is really working hard and I appreciate her efforts. Been a nice change for a while.
We haven't really been adventurous with the cuisine options over here yet. Our initial goal was to get what we knew would be easy to buy, cook, prepare, and digest. Very simple and very minimalist. Yesterday for lunch we ate out at our first restaurant that the menu was completely in Russian. Fortunately our coordinator was with us and read the menu to us word for word. Didn't get adventurous either, but it was a start.
Luckily we brought a couple items with us to make sure we were safe. Some oatmeal, granola bars, drink mix packets. I sure wish I had brought some ketchup! The plain boiled potatoes, eggs, ham slices, rice, oatmeal and bananas are slowing getting plainfully old. Thankfully we figured out the ground pepper and salt at the last market trip as that has made everything just a little bit better than wallpaper. Seriously, its not been an issue. Coca Cola Light (i.e. Diet Coke) is readily available and a Big Mac in Kiev broke the pattern.
At our current apartment we do have a satelite tv and we have found 5-6 channels that are in English. Currently, in the background on CNBC, watching the Jay Leno show. Not current ones, but a series of re-runs from earlier this week. We also have the British version of the Travel Channel, ESPN Classic from Europe that carries a whole lot of soccer and grand prix, and a couple news and info channels from various parts of Europe. We also are fortunate to have internet access. Granted its not as good a connection as we had in Kiev, but connection none the less. Its a great way to pass the time and stay in touch with everyone back home.
LA took a brief walk to the local market today, just a couple hundred feet down the street. Its a smaller version that what we had visited before. Just a private local owned grocer smaller than a convenience store we are used to. But produce, fresh meats, breads, and some common staples are available. Good to have such a place close by just in case.
Its 11pm local time, so gonna sign off for now, quit rambling and get prepared for tomorrow. We are scheduled to go see Nastya sometime tomorrow and are just chomping at the bit to wrap our arms around her and use our newly learned Russian I Love You! Maybe a little chuckle will result, but that is completely ok! Until next time...
No big news today so I am going to use this time to just catch up on some odds and ends from the last couple days. Been trying to think of a way to tie it all together today but couldn't think of one. So, I am just gonna let it flow.
I think we have finally adjusted to the time change and we have had 2 complete nights sleep in a row. We heard from many families that traveled before us that the hardest part of the process is the emotional journey and that it takes a toll. I think we have experienced that to its fullest extent. The emotions have been flowing and I think unconsciously we were drained. Physically ok, just the body was tired from all the effort it takes to travel this emotional roller coaster.
LA and I watched a DVD on our computer this afternoon to try and escape for a bit. For a brief 2 hours, we didn't think of the process or being in a new place. We just spent a couple mindless hours laying in bed watching a movie together. Hadn't done that in years! It was pretty neat. I got myself thinking that I wasn't even overseas a bit during the movie. Felt right at home.
We are trying to learn a couple words and phrases per day to help us communicate with Nastya. Our broken Russian is indeed very broken and it makes the kids laugh when we use our Engligh southern accents to pronounce the words...but who cares. Laughter is universal. Today's goal was to conquer "I love you". I think we got it down and are ready to throw that one out there tomorrow when we see Nastya again.
I took over the cooking duties today. Believe it or not, LA has been doing all the cooking since we got over here. I know right? For those of you that know us best, LA's can cook a mean bowl of Rice Krispies and maybe some Kraft Mac and Cheese and that is about it. She has cooked us fried eggs, cheese sandwiches, white rice, ham sandwiches, etc. Get my drift? She is really working hard and I appreciate her efforts. Been a nice change for a while.
We haven't really been adventurous with the cuisine options over here yet. Our initial goal was to get what we knew would be easy to buy, cook, prepare, and digest. Very simple and very minimalist. Yesterday for lunch we ate out at our first restaurant that the menu was completely in Russian. Fortunately our coordinator was with us and read the menu to us word for word. Didn't get adventurous either, but it was a start.
Luckily we brought a couple items with us to make sure we were safe. Some oatmeal, granola bars, drink mix packets. I sure wish I had brought some ketchup! The plain boiled potatoes, eggs, ham slices, rice, oatmeal and bananas are slowing getting plainfully old. Thankfully we figured out the ground pepper and salt at the last market trip as that has made everything just a little bit better than wallpaper. Seriously, its not been an issue. Coca Cola Light (i.e. Diet Coke) is readily available and a Big Mac in Kiev broke the pattern.
At our current apartment we do have a satelite tv and we have found 5-6 channels that are in English. Currently, in the background on CNBC, watching the Jay Leno show. Not current ones, but a series of re-runs from earlier this week. We also have the British version of the Travel Channel, ESPN Classic from Europe that carries a whole lot of soccer and grand prix, and a couple news and info channels from various parts of Europe. We also are fortunate to have internet access. Granted its not as good a connection as we had in Kiev, but connection none the less. Its a great way to pass the time and stay in touch with everyone back home.
LA took a brief walk to the local market today, just a couple hundred feet down the street. Its a smaller version that what we had visited before. Just a private local owned grocer smaller than a convenience store we are used to. But produce, fresh meats, breads, and some common staples are available. Good to have such a place close by just in case.
Its 11pm local time, so gonna sign off for now, quit rambling and get prepared for tomorrow. We are scheduled to go see Nastya sometime tomorrow and are just chomping at the bit to wrap our arms around her and use our newly learned Russian I Love You! Maybe a little chuckle will result, but that is completely ok! Until next time...
Friday, April 1, 2011
No April Fools Joke Here!
It is with great pleasure that I can sit here this afternoon and say that we got to see Nastya today! It was a feeling like no other and a moment in my life that I will remember forever. Pictures would never do it justice. But my heart is forever engraved with the last few hours of my life.
It has been a long journey to get to this point and at times, in the back of my mind, I wondered if we would ever get here. In my heart, I knew that this day would happen and have devoted every ounce of my being to get us here. The last 36 hours have been full of activity so let me catch everyone up. Not to leave you hanging on our visit with Nastya, but I will return to that moment in a bit. (Isn't that what all good authors do? Give you a catch line or moment and then wrap it up at the end?)
We left Kiev for Simferopol yesterday morning. It was a ride that I never could have imagined. Prior to leaving, we knew at some point we would be going by van from Kiev to Simferopol. In my preparation, I Googled the distance and direction just for curiousity. It showed up as about a 700 mile trip and about a 9 hour drive from point A to point B. In my head, I was all prepared for such a trip because LA and I made such a trip about a year ago from Raleigh to the Cape Cod area on vacation. No problem right?
Well, let me tell you something. I had parts of me jiggle and other parts of me wiggle, and yet other parts of me that I didn't know I had, jostle in ways that have never josteled before. In my mind the pathway from there to here was paved in gold. Nope. Nodda. No way Jose! To sum this portion of travel up, let me paint this picture..not literally, but figuratively...gather 4 square wheels, not the same size that is; put them onto 2 axles that are not the same lengths and geometry plays no part; sit down on a wooden bench that is laying at a 45% angle to the ground; and then "roll" over them along cobblestone pathways for 12 hours! By the time the physical part of the ride was done, I will never ever need a chiropractor OR I will forever need a good one!
Ok, now that that short bit of sarcasm is aside, let me move onto the true meaning of what I experienced during the drive. Yes, despite the physical toll that it took, there was a tremendous sense of "stop and smell the roses" that took place along the way.
Having never travelled outside of the the US, I have never been exposed to another culture in the way that the last week has enabled me to do. I never considered myself sheltered or uneducated as to what the world brings as a whole. But I realized yesterday that the world as I once knew it, both the one I lived in and the one that I imagined, will be forever different. The easiest way to describe the way I felt can be summed up in a single word...simplicity.
As we made our way through village after village, I couldn't help but capture the images of simple people, completing simple tasks, in a simple manner. Let me clarify that I am not using simple in a negative way. More in an extremely positive and quite awe-inspiring way. A way that I would strive to live like.
Each village had its own unique geography, people, housing, and overall environment in general. One town was nestled along a hill side and all the people were out tending to the landscaping of the small ornamental trees that dotted the roadside. Cleaning up the winter growth and preparing for the new spring. In the next town, young shepards were sitting along the road with a stick in one hand and blade of grass between their lips as they watched over a small herd of grazing sheep, goats, or cows. Further down the road, men and women alike were plowing by hand their individual pieces of land in neat rows in what appeared to be preparation for planting. Women in one town were sitting in the front area of their homes, selling their pickled, canned, and home grown vegetables and dried meats. 40 or 50 homes in a row with differerent goods at each. As we drove further south, you could tell the soil was becoming more rich and fertile and each land owner was tending to the fruits of their labor. And all along, chickens, turkeys, geese, and pheasants roaming each individual parcel of land; surely getting fattened to be on the dinner table at some point in their near future.
Their homes were simple. Sometimes made of hand made bricks. Some of wood. And in a small handfull of places, you couldn't tell you weren't in North Raleigh. But one thing was in common throughout. You could without a doubt tell the simplicity in which everyone was living. It made me think about all the "stuff" that I have and we have in the "western world". We truly don't need all of that "stuff". Simple people, doing simple things, with simple belongings. That is the mantra I take with me from this portion of our journey.
After the ride, we got settled into our new home away from home for the next days and visited the local supermarket. We hit the supermarket right after rush hour and people leaving work. It felt like the lines at Wal Mart just after Greg Fishel said snow was coming AND its the Friday after Thanksgiving! But that is the norm here. The custom in the city is to shop a little at a time, every day or so, and just get what you need for couple of days or so. No Sam's Club, big box, bulk selling practices that is for sure. Once again, simplicity. Get what you need when you need it. Simple concept huh?
Last night LA and I both crashed and had our best night's sleep since we started our travels. I guess the bouncing around and shear wear and tear the last week and the drive took on us caught up with us. This was contrary to what I would thought would happen though, as I was hoping that we would get to see Nastya today.
We met our coordinator and driver early this morning to go meet with the people that make this all happen. After a brief meeting with them, we were taken to see Nastya. Editor's Note: Okay, I have made you wait long enough. Here is the best part of this posting.
With growing anticipation, nervousness, and anxiety we drove the 10 minutes or so to the boarding school. We walked into the main office and sat in 2 green chairs alongside a table that held tons of folders and paperwork. Within a couple minutes, the door opened, and there was our soon to be daughter. I promptly stood up, took a couple steps towards her, and embraced in the single greatest hug that I will ever have. (No offense meant to anyone at all on that, but you get what I am putting out there.) I didn't want to let go and the best part of it was that she didn't want to let go either! After what seemed like a couple minutes but was only a mere 30 seconds or so, and I relunctantly let go. Not because I wanted to but because LA was sitting beside me and I wanted her to feel that love as well.
Nastya took a couple steps to my right and gave LA the same kind of embrace. It was incredible. Watching LA now embrace our future daughter. Not officially by any means, but unofficially and in my little world inside my giant noggin, it was endearing to watch LA hug Nastya. In those moments, I watched LA transform from my wife to the Mommy that she has always wanted to be.
After our greeting, we sat and conducted some official business and then got to spend some alone time with Nastya. She walked us down to the playground and we spent our first time alone as a future family. Nastya played on the monkey bars, climbing to the top about 8 ft up and jumping down, as if it was no big deal at all. We took pictures of her and she took pictures of us. She then led us up a path to an old castle on the grounds that is being renovated. It was a thrill for her to walk up there as you could tell they aren't allowed to go up there much. She took great joy in walking with us and taking pictures of the castle as if this was a new treat for her to be up there. Not only up there, but to show us a piece of her world.
We walked back down the path towards the office and by this point I was a little tired. We had played on the playground. Walked up and down steps and hills. Meandered through the grass without a care in the world enjoying time with her. I was walking a few steps behind LA and Nastya and she came back to me and put her arm around me as if to say, its okay...I will walk with you...don't be tired...I am here for you. How precious, caring, and giving for her to pick up on a simple fact that I was falling behind a few steps. Amazing moment once again.
When we got back to the office, we shared a few gifts that we had brought for her and for her to share with her friends. LA pulled out a mini-scrapbook that she had put together of her soon to be new family. Mimi, Pop Pop, Aunt Allyson, Granddaddy, Grandma, Aunt Amanda, Jim and Angie with their girls Lil E and Lil A, LA's mom and step dad, Aunt Tiffany, Uncle Robert, and last but not least Daisy! At the end were pictures of her new home, her school, and a skyline shot of downtown Raleigh. "Daisy" seems to flow off her tongue rather easily as she told us that she is looking forward to meeting her and that she is glad she is not a cat...because she doesn't like cats.
Our visit was then soon done and we made plans to reunite later in the weekend. We shared temporary goodbyes, she asked if she could bring one of her friends to meet us the next time and we promptly said an enthusiastic yes. She asked if we could bring her some chocolate back and LA said "That's My Girl"! We hugged and told her we loved her and went our our way. She walked down the path to her dormitory with her gifts in hand, a smile on her face, and I can only guess an anticipation that LA and I match for our next visit.
Today was an incredible day. Quite ironic that its April Fools Day and something so special happened on a day meant for tricks and pranks. We asked Nastya if she thought it was an April Fool's joke that she was called to the office to see us. She quickly said no and that she knew we would come one day. That day is here and here is to the beginning of something so incredibly special. Her first English words to us were Papa, Mama, and Daisy. Her new family.
It has been a long journey to get to this point and at times, in the back of my mind, I wondered if we would ever get here. In my heart, I knew that this day would happen and have devoted every ounce of my being to get us here. The last 36 hours have been full of activity so let me catch everyone up. Not to leave you hanging on our visit with Nastya, but I will return to that moment in a bit. (Isn't that what all good authors do? Give you a catch line or moment and then wrap it up at the end?)
We left Kiev for Simferopol yesterday morning. It was a ride that I never could have imagined. Prior to leaving, we knew at some point we would be going by van from Kiev to Simferopol. In my preparation, I Googled the distance and direction just for curiousity. It showed up as about a 700 mile trip and about a 9 hour drive from point A to point B. In my head, I was all prepared for such a trip because LA and I made such a trip about a year ago from Raleigh to the Cape Cod area on vacation. No problem right?
Well, let me tell you something. I had parts of me jiggle and other parts of me wiggle, and yet other parts of me that I didn't know I had, jostle in ways that have never josteled before. In my mind the pathway from there to here was paved in gold. Nope. Nodda. No way Jose! To sum this portion of travel up, let me paint this picture..not literally, but figuratively...gather 4 square wheels, not the same size that is; put them onto 2 axles that are not the same lengths and geometry plays no part; sit down on a wooden bench that is laying at a 45% angle to the ground; and then "roll" over them along cobblestone pathways for 12 hours! By the time the physical part of the ride was done, I will never ever need a chiropractor OR I will forever need a good one!
Ok, now that that short bit of sarcasm is aside, let me move onto the true meaning of what I experienced during the drive. Yes, despite the physical toll that it took, there was a tremendous sense of "stop and smell the roses" that took place along the way.
Having never travelled outside of the the US, I have never been exposed to another culture in the way that the last week has enabled me to do. I never considered myself sheltered or uneducated as to what the world brings as a whole. But I realized yesterday that the world as I once knew it, both the one I lived in and the one that I imagined, will be forever different. The easiest way to describe the way I felt can be summed up in a single word...simplicity.
As we made our way through village after village, I couldn't help but capture the images of simple people, completing simple tasks, in a simple manner. Let me clarify that I am not using simple in a negative way. More in an extremely positive and quite awe-inspiring way. A way that I would strive to live like.
Each village had its own unique geography, people, housing, and overall environment in general. One town was nestled along a hill side and all the people were out tending to the landscaping of the small ornamental trees that dotted the roadside. Cleaning up the winter growth and preparing for the new spring. In the next town, young shepards were sitting along the road with a stick in one hand and blade of grass between their lips as they watched over a small herd of grazing sheep, goats, or cows. Further down the road, men and women alike were plowing by hand their individual pieces of land in neat rows in what appeared to be preparation for planting. Women in one town were sitting in the front area of their homes, selling their pickled, canned, and home grown vegetables and dried meats. 40 or 50 homes in a row with differerent goods at each. As we drove further south, you could tell the soil was becoming more rich and fertile and each land owner was tending to the fruits of their labor. And all along, chickens, turkeys, geese, and pheasants roaming each individual parcel of land; surely getting fattened to be on the dinner table at some point in their near future.
Their homes were simple. Sometimes made of hand made bricks. Some of wood. And in a small handfull of places, you couldn't tell you weren't in North Raleigh. But one thing was in common throughout. You could without a doubt tell the simplicity in which everyone was living. It made me think about all the "stuff" that I have and we have in the "western world". We truly don't need all of that "stuff". Simple people, doing simple things, with simple belongings. That is the mantra I take with me from this portion of our journey.
After the ride, we got settled into our new home away from home for the next days and visited the local supermarket. We hit the supermarket right after rush hour and people leaving work. It felt like the lines at Wal Mart just after Greg Fishel said snow was coming AND its the Friday after Thanksgiving! But that is the norm here. The custom in the city is to shop a little at a time, every day or so, and just get what you need for couple of days or so. No Sam's Club, big box, bulk selling practices that is for sure. Once again, simplicity. Get what you need when you need it. Simple concept huh?
Last night LA and I both crashed and had our best night's sleep since we started our travels. I guess the bouncing around and shear wear and tear the last week and the drive took on us caught up with us. This was contrary to what I would thought would happen though, as I was hoping that we would get to see Nastya today.
We met our coordinator and driver early this morning to go meet with the people that make this all happen. After a brief meeting with them, we were taken to see Nastya. Editor's Note: Okay, I have made you wait long enough. Here is the best part of this posting.
With growing anticipation, nervousness, and anxiety we drove the 10 minutes or so to the boarding school. We walked into the main office and sat in 2 green chairs alongside a table that held tons of folders and paperwork. Within a couple minutes, the door opened, and there was our soon to be daughter. I promptly stood up, took a couple steps towards her, and embraced in the single greatest hug that I will ever have. (No offense meant to anyone at all on that, but you get what I am putting out there.) I didn't want to let go and the best part of it was that she didn't want to let go either! After what seemed like a couple minutes but was only a mere 30 seconds or so, and I relunctantly let go. Not because I wanted to but because LA was sitting beside me and I wanted her to feel that love as well.
Nastya took a couple steps to my right and gave LA the same kind of embrace. It was incredible. Watching LA now embrace our future daughter. Not officially by any means, but unofficially and in my little world inside my giant noggin, it was endearing to watch LA hug Nastya. In those moments, I watched LA transform from my wife to the Mommy that she has always wanted to be.
After our greeting, we sat and conducted some official business and then got to spend some alone time with Nastya. She walked us down to the playground and we spent our first time alone as a future family. Nastya played on the monkey bars, climbing to the top about 8 ft up and jumping down, as if it was no big deal at all. We took pictures of her and she took pictures of us. She then led us up a path to an old castle on the grounds that is being renovated. It was a thrill for her to walk up there as you could tell they aren't allowed to go up there much. She took great joy in walking with us and taking pictures of the castle as if this was a new treat for her to be up there. Not only up there, but to show us a piece of her world.
We walked back down the path towards the office and by this point I was a little tired. We had played on the playground. Walked up and down steps and hills. Meandered through the grass without a care in the world enjoying time with her. I was walking a few steps behind LA and Nastya and she came back to me and put her arm around me as if to say, its okay...I will walk with you...don't be tired...I am here for you. How precious, caring, and giving for her to pick up on a simple fact that I was falling behind a few steps. Amazing moment once again.
When we got back to the office, we shared a few gifts that we had brought for her and for her to share with her friends. LA pulled out a mini-scrapbook that she had put together of her soon to be new family. Mimi, Pop Pop, Aunt Allyson, Granddaddy, Grandma, Aunt Amanda, Jim and Angie with their girls Lil E and Lil A, LA's mom and step dad, Aunt Tiffany, Uncle Robert, and last but not least Daisy! At the end were pictures of her new home, her school, and a skyline shot of downtown Raleigh. "Daisy" seems to flow off her tongue rather easily as she told us that she is looking forward to meeting her and that she is glad she is not a cat...because she doesn't like cats.
Our visit was then soon done and we made plans to reunite later in the weekend. We shared temporary goodbyes, she asked if she could bring one of her friends to meet us the next time and we promptly said an enthusiastic yes. She asked if we could bring her some chocolate back and LA said "That's My Girl"! We hugged and told her we loved her and went our our way. She walked down the path to her dormitory with her gifts in hand, a smile on her face, and I can only guess an anticipation that LA and I match for our next visit.
Today was an incredible day. Quite ironic that its April Fools Day and something so special happened on a day meant for tricks and pranks. We asked Nastya if she thought it was an April Fool's joke that she was called to the office to see us. She quickly said no and that she knew we would come one day. That day is here and here is to the beginning of something so incredibly special. Her first English words to us were Papa, Mama, and Daisy. Her new family.
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